Secrets

Reigisa?

"You guys are together?!" Makoto exclaimed.
"That's actually why we wanted to get together with you guys today." Rei explained. "We were going to announce it together but seeing as someone let the cat out of the bag already..."
"How was I supposed to know that they were here?" Nagisa pouted.
"I told you that I saw them walking over. Did you not hear me?"
"Oh. I guess I just didn't listen haha." Nagisa scratched the back of his neck.
Makoto chuckled as he watched the two of them bicker back and forth.
"Almost reminds me of me and Haru." Makoto thought. He visibly blushed at the thought.
"They're so cute together, don't you think Haru?" Makoto turned his head to his left but Haru wasn't there. Makoto, being the "mom friend" of the group quickly panicked, that is until he heard a splash in the water.
"Of course" Makoto shook his head. "Anyway, what's the story between you two?"

"Well, I kinda had a crush on Rei for a while now and the more I saw him the more I wanted to be his friend. So one day I came up to him in art class and asked if he would be my model for my painting. He said that he would as long as I did the same for him. That was the first time we really talked." Nagisa explained.
"I knew from that moment that I wanted to at least be Nagisa's friend." Rei added. "After that we started to hang out more and more. I obviously invited him over here after he told me about his passion for swimming."
"And he helped me study and stuff too." Nagisa interrupted. "Anyway after hanging out more and more I finally confessed how I felt, which was really nerve racking to be completely honest. But it was all worth it." Nagisa grinned and hugged Rei after he finished the story.

"Well, I'm really happy for you guys, seriously. And bravo to you, Nagisa. I don't know if I'd have the guts to confess my love like that." Makoto shyly admitted.

"Wait, is there someone that you love?" Nagisa gasped. He was all too excited. He bounced over to Makoto and grabbed his arm. "I won't tell them!"
"I don't real-ly know if it's love. I mean, I admire someone greatly and I would do anything to protect them but I don't know if it's love or just me being overprotective and platonic." Makoto revealed nervously.
"Well... who is it?!" Rei coaxed.
"I-ummmm."
Makoto let his eyes briefly drift over to where Haru was swimming laps.
"Um. I. Umm." Makoto stammered.
"Is it Haru?" Nagisa whispered.
Makoto took a few steps back, anxiously. He tried to look anywhere except at them.
Makoto suddenly felt something in his chest. A cry. A panic. Makoto's chest went tight and he clutched his shirt. His head buzzed as his vision blurred slightly. He felt dizzy and nauseous. Then it finally happened. He couldn't breathe. It was like his entire body switched into overdrive in the blink of an eye. Makoto could no longer focus on what Rei and Nagisa were saying. He couldn't really focus on anything except for the need for air. He didn't know why but he made a run for it. He ran back to Haru's place as fast as he could. He ignored everything else around him. All that mattered at that moment was escaping.

He finally reached the house. His hands were shaking as he fumbled with the keys. He dropped them on the ground and ran to the back and forced the back door to open. Once he was inside he immediately went up to his room. He shut the door and locked it and closed the blinds. Makoto crouched under the window and tried to catch his breath.
A.N. (Trigger warning. Self harm. If you are sensitive to this topic, do not read. You have been warned.)

About 5 minutes later:

Makoto finally opened his eyes and was able to breathe again. The brightness from the sun through the blinds shown through into his room. Makoto blinked trying to adjust to the change of exposure. He looked around and felt a stinging feeling on his arms. Makoto didn't remember anything since he left Rei's house.
He looked down at his arms that were covered in bloody slashes up and down his forearm.
He tried to remember what had happened but he was drawing a blank. He saw the blood soaked razor blade next to his leg and picked it up with a shaky hand.
"What did I do?!" Makoto panicked.
"I told Haru I wouldn't do it again. I lied to him. He's going to hate me now!"
Makoto got up as quickly as he could and ran into the bathroom. He turned on the faucet and cautiously ran his arm under the cool water. It stung on impact but eventually the pain faded and the stinging stopped a bit.
Once his cuts were clean, he pulled out a box from under his bed. Inside it contained blades, a screwdriver, some bandages, gauze, medical tape, and band-aids. He grabbed a bandage and carefully wrapped his forearms before throwing on a hoodie and jeans.
He waited anxiously for Haru to come home. He tried his best to look casual, and laidback.

"Makoto, what happened?" Haru urged.