Everything Has Changed: Book Three

Chapter Seventeen: Incompetence

Chapter Seventeen: Incompetence

Danny

I sit in the waiting room. The plastic crib sits in front of me and Emily is sleeping peacefully. I'm pulling the crib back and forth.

The blood was gushing down her leg into a puddle on the floor, and I knew her period would start back up, but we were told multiple times that it's just like a period after you give birth, and a normal period doesn't run down your leg like that. The moment I saw the blood, I knew she was hemorrhaging.

And now I've never been more scared in my life.

The moment everyone saw the blood, everything turned to chaos. Nurses were running in and out of the room, telling us to get out. Grace was pleading with me not to let Emmy out of my sight, and I was begging her to be okay, trying to go back to stay with her. Megan was clinging to Emily, who was screaming, and my Mom was grabbing the hospital bags, and Dad was pulling me from the room.

And now I'm sitting in the waiting room, one hand pushing the crib back and forth and the other resting on my forehead.

I don't do this well. I've never done well with Grace being in pain. When Grace and I were babies, she was waking around and tripped and slammed her forehead on the corner of a shelf and she was screaming, and because she was crying, my Mom told me I started crying. I remember standing in the bathroom every time she skinned her knee when we were playing outside and I would hold her hand as her Mom or Dad or one of my parents poured peroxide on her hand.

The first time her Mom raised her hand to her, I cried when we hung up the phone because I had a gut feeling it was going to get worse. When she choked her, I cried again, right in front of Grace on camera. Seeing her in any pain at all makes my body physically hurt, but knowing she's bleeding a lot and there's nothing I can do about it...it makes it unbearable.

I'm trying my hardest not to cry in front of everyone.

I hardly ever cry. There is one thing in this world I cry over, and that's Grace. Every single time. I cried today because Emily was born, and the time before that was probably when she told me she was pregnant, or maybe the first ultrasound. I don't know. I only cry in situations that involve my wife and daughter.

And I'm scared. I'm so scared. My hands are clamming and I'm trying not to start shaking, because what if something is really, really wrong?

I don't want to even think about what's going to happen to me if she doesn't come out of this alive. The thought alone makes me sick. I can't think about it. I literally can't. I'll start crying.

Mom reaches over to rub my back.

What if I made her laugh from when Emmy peed? What if it's all my fault?

I hear footsteps.

"I just got the call." Kyle says breathlessly. "What the hell happened? She was fine!"

She was fine. She was perfectly fine. She was smiling and happy.

Without a word, I push the plastic crib to my Mom and stand up, walking out without a word.

"Where are you going?" Mom calls, but I just keep walking.

I can't breathe in that sterile hospital. I need to think.

I take the stairs instead of the elevator, rushing outside when I reach the first floor. The ground is soaked so I know it rained.

I just keep walking until I reach the Jeep, and I feel like I'm being suffocated with emotions. I slide down the side of the Jeep until I'm crouching with my back against the sleek black door. I bury my head in my hands, and start crying.