·Text Buddies·(Ryden) |Kik|

57

Brendon's POV

I quickly walked into Ryan's room to see him laying in his bed with the covers completely covering him.
I went to sit next to his body, but as I placed my hand on him I noticed him shaking.

"Ryro?"
He rose up and looked at me. There were tears running down his face.

"Brendon...I'm scared" he sobbed.

"Ry, babe, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to"

"No, I do. I'm scared to emit it to myself" Ryan tugged on my shirt.
I looked down at him, I looked in his beautiful brown eyes that were now filled with tears. I hated seeing him cry. It was the first time I have seen him cry, and it breaks my heart.

"Ry, I'll help" I said as he nodded. "I-Just say it...as if it's a bandage, just rip it off quickly. It doesn't have to be a hundred-percent true, just say what you're questioning."

"I...I don't feel comfortable how I am" He whispered to himself.  I frowned for a second, confused, but put a straight face on again.

"I-I...I don't understand the feeling" He tugged on my shirt more. I placed my hand ontop of his head. I ruffled his hair as he tried calming his breathing.

"You don't have to understand it..." I said once he started calming down alittle. "...you don't have to understand it at all. Just, can you describe it?"

Ryan nodded. "People always say I'm this scrawny boy who'd never get a girl-like, what if I don't want to have a girlfriend? What if I don't want a girlfriend because I..." Ryan's voice trailed off. I saw tears starting to form again in his eyes.

"I never told anyone..." He looked up at me, his big brown gorgeous eyes.
"Brendon?"

"Yes, baby?"

"I...I don't like myself" My eyes widened. What does he mean by that!? He doesn't harm himself does he?

"I don't like how I was born, maybe I should've worded it like that." I sighed in relieve that he doesn't harm himself.

"So, what are you implying?" I asked.

"I don't want to be a guy, I want to be..." His voice trailed off again.

"A girl" I finished his sentence. 

"I'm sorry" Ryan apologized.

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because I'm not...a normal guy I guess"

"Ryan, I don't care what gender you are, ok? I love you because you're yourself. You be who you want to be, I'll still always love you"

"R-really?" He asked and I nodded.

"Um..In my dresser, third draw" Ryan pointed as I got up and opened it. "Under the shirts."

I moved the shirts out of the way to see lighter colored clothing in the drawer. There were pink and purple sweaters, girlish shirts, and a dress. It was blue, it went down to your knees, and had sleeves.

"I'm too scared to try the dress on" he laughed alittle at himself.

"You've tried the other clothing before?" I asked.

"Y-yeah, usually around the house only"

"Well, don't let me stop you"

"Brendon, may I try the dress on?" I found it cute that he asked me. It was obvious that he was scared to, even if he wouldn't have told me that he was. He wanted me to be by his side while he did this.

"Of course" I took the dress out of the drawer, and handed it to Ryan.
He stared at it for a few minutes, I didn't mind. I get it, but at the same time I don't? I don't know, but I understand what he's going through.

He then got up from his bed, and hesitated before slowly taking his shirt off.
I watched his expression as he slipped the dress on. It didn't really change until he completely had it on.
He had a smile on his face, and he seems so happy.

"How do I look..?" He looked at me.

"You look gorgeous, sweetie" I said as I went to kissed him.

"You really think so?" He asked as we pulled away.

"Why would I ever lie to you?"

"I love you Bren"

I smiled, "I love you too Ry"