If Not You, Then Who?

House Of Cards

Let me note one thing about the boys. They. Are. Touchy. In Korea, I can't hug Koreans. They freak out over being touched or randomly starting conversations with them. These guys? They'll pounce on you, cuddle with you, ask you twenty times a day if you've eaten, and touch you.... EVERYWHERE.

I forget sometimes how to deal with them. But right now, I'm being shaken.

"Ah, 진짜-" he whined. "wake up it's hot. I want to swim!"

I flipped over to the wall and covers myself up in the blankets. "나 좀 내버려둬!"

He kept shaking me so I finally looked at him. Only to glare for disturbing my sleep. "아니요. Let's go. Please. You'll get to see me half-naked."

I tsked. "Yeah, sure." I yawned.

"I'm worldwide handsome. All the girls crazy for me." he cracked a smile. I can feel the rise in his ego.

__________

After finally getting my ass up, we all went to the pool. My confidence wasn't tainted until I realized I had to change in the public bathroom.

Me? In a swimsuit? Yikes.

Perhaps I should've changed at home but I felt more comfortable doing so at the pool. Being exposed at all with now four guys who like me is stressful. But I did it anyways because if I never did, I'd miss out on fun and the chance to be comfortable the more I do it.

Slipping on my oddly "sexy" swimsuit (don't ask) as the boys rough housed out by the pool, I realized how happy I am. Despite my nervousness, I was able to succumb to it and noticed my happiness around them. It's been a while since I can call myself happy and actually mean it. And so I smiled even as I walked out to greet the boys.

That was... Until their eyes made contact with me. My smile sank faster than the Titanic.

"You look-" one of them started to say. I held my hand up.

"Save it." I spoke out as I sat my towel on one of the benches next to them.

I took my hair out of its ponytail and slowly walked into the water. My facade held cool but my mind held chaos. But my feet continued and my hands grasped themselves to recede from shaking.

I anticipated their splashing but instead I looked back to see them still standing there. Staring. Creepily.

So I took the chance to dip down underwater and get myself entirely soaked. And when I popped back up they were still in the same positions.

"Jeez. Get in already I thought you guys wanted to swim." I rolled my eyes.

They shook their heads to snap out of it and finally jumped in. I sighed heavily because of their tsunami that poured over me. But I also smiled again. This was a carefree moment I was able to share with everyone.

I sat on the pool stairs while they all rough housed again. Then I noticed Jin sitting at the edge of the far end of the pool. Kicking his feet in the water and looking at the shining blue liquid. I wondered what his thoughts were. And why he got out.

Then we made eye contact. We waved at each other shyly at the same time. He took this chance to walk around the pool and sit by me in the water.

"Why are you not splashing with them?" I asked him as I pointed to the other guys.

He chuckled. "I can ask you same thing."

I shrugged. "Just thinking about what happened when you left." I paused. "Jin I'm so s-"

"Don't apologize." he interrupted. "It's okay. You love me. I understand."

Now I love him more.

I sighed. "Thank you for understanding. I promise I won't do it again."

Jin and I finally went over to go swim with the boys. We were able to let the past be the past and continue forward. This was an important step to healing. And as we had fun, the boys picked on me.

"TAEHYUNG LET ME GO!" I yelled as I squirmed in his firm embrace.

He thought it would be funny to throw me in the pool. The others agreed in constant laughter. Jungkook even tried to come help throw me in until I kicked in his direction. Threatening to kick him in if he helps.

Just before he threw me in, I grabbed his arm and pulled him in with me.
His square smile showed through his now long, wet, dark brown hair as we swam up.

"파보!" I joked and lightly pushed him away.

He just grabbed me into his embrace again.

Hours went by before we decided to go home. And as I got out of the pool into the freezing air I was greeted with a towel being held open by Yoongi. I felt warm by this gesture.

He also held his arm around me to keep me warm as we walked back home. This reminded me that he still cared for me. He wasn't by my side all the time just to not hog me all to himself. But every now and then he showed he still was there for me.

This, I loved.