If Not You, Then Who?

Take My Leave - Pt. 1

I woke up to empty sheets. I expected to see Jimin but instead he was gone. Much conversation was happening out in the living room so I got myself despite being so tired and heading towards the sound.

It was all of the guys hanging out in the living room. But the air was tense. And their stances and positions were nervous, stiff, and sad? They were slumped. Maybe this was a sign of sadness but it was slightly hard to tell.

"Arielle! 좋은 아침이에요!" Namjoon greeted me in awkward enthusiasm.

I waved this off. "What's going on?"

They all looked at me now. Stress imprinted in their eyes. The tense vibes and heavy moods weighed on me. I feared the answer.

"Goodbye time." Jin said in a quiet voice.

My eyebrows furrowed. I was confused by what he meant.

Namjoon walked up to me and laid a hand on my shoulder. "This is Jin's last day with us. He will be leaving.-" he paused. His eyes intently on mine. "To the military."

Instantly I jerked back. This felt so harshly like a slap in the face. I couldn't grasp his words. My emotion went from anger, sadness, to shock again.

"You're joking."

They all shook their head.
I went up to Jin who relaxed his body against the kitchen table behind him.

"Kim Seokjin, you tell me this is some sort of sick joke right now." I spat through my teeth.

As soon as his frown deepened and his head shook slowly side to side, I knew this was far from a joke. The tension had grown deeper as well. No one was laughing. No one had even the slightest grin. Nothing but bit lips and dark eyes.

They kept this from me...

I couldn't feel my heart anymore. I felt nauseous. Like actual vomit was threatening to pull up. My eyes stung badly.

Then anger shot out. And words spilled over instead of vomit. Word vomit.

"You!" I pointed an intense finger at Namjoon.

He looked at me in shock as I took leaps over to him. "You kept this a secret. Your refusal to speak to me about this... For what?" I angrily snapped at him.

"Because you'd act like this. I knew it. It was better to wait last minute so you wouldn't do something stupid."

They all watched me. They were in a sort of alert mode. I wondered why. Was I a threat?

Then I noticed how hard I gripped Namjoon by his coat collar. Surely he was slightly taller but I let out this anger despite this advantage he had.
I was infuriated with them all now.

But then an overwhelming wave of intense sadness washed over me. A tsunami if you will. And my tears pooled over. As I slowly let go I looked back at Jin.

My heart dangerously went slow. No one was crying but me. They're hurt expressions gave away the fact they were trying hard to hold back tears in spite of me.

"Jin." I squeaked out.

He grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. The longest and saddest hug I've ever been in. I delicately laid my ear to listen for his heart. It fluttered. Soothing as it was, I realized this will be the last time I will hear it for a while...

He slowly let go. And I looked at him; my eyes hurting. "How long?" I asked.

"Two years."

"Why?"