Masquerade {Edited}

Masquerade -9-

Chapter Nine

Motherly affection

My dearest Jane,

I'm sorry about everything that has happened, including what I'm about to say. I know you have good intentions, and I love you, I honestly do. The truth in hand is that you don't return those feelings. I can't sit here and wait for you much longer; it's already killing me inside knowing you're engaged to someone else, someone who has a more promising future than I could even dream of giving you.

Jane, you need to understand that what I'm about to say has nothing to do with what your father said. We can't keep sneaking off together; it's just not healthy for us. You're engaged and I'm a servant. I'm leaving for awhile, it's for the best. I know you're probably going to hate me. I already said goodbye to my family, that way by the time you get this, I'll already be gone. I won't be gone for good, I would never do that. I'm giving you space to decided on what you really want. If you still want to be with me by the time I get back, lets be together, if not... then we will never speak of it again.

Look after yourself Jane; please try to understand why I am doing this.

- Neville

I put the note back down on my vanity. I've read this over ten times and I still can't really explain the way I feel. I feel betrayed, sad, broken... depressed? He couldn't even tell me goodbye in person? Where did he go? Does he really not think I love him? I had so many questions I wanted to ask, but I probably never will get the chance to ask them.

I put the note inside a drawer and stood up, walking out of my room and towards the garden for the dinner with Kyle. I keep forgetting to grab my doll from my aunt, but I guess it's an excuse for whenever I need to get away again. Hanging out with her today was the highlight of my day, I felt relaxed, invited and actually wanted. I took a deep breath walking down the hall trying to gather my emotions.

The garden was lit up by candles placed around spontaneously within the flowers. The table in the middle had a red curtain covering it with two wooden chairs and dishes on it in an orderly fashion. The stars in the sky were bright, sparkling down on me, leaving me breathless. Kyle stood up from the table and walked over to me, grabbing my hands and bringing me to sit down. He pulled the chair out for me and pushed it in once I sat down.

"You look amazing tonight, Jane." He said, smiling at me as he took his seat. I smiled back at him, afraid to use my voice in case I broke down. I looked around for servants, noticing a few standing to my right, close to the castle.

"We're getting married soon, are you excited?" I nodded my head at his question, clenching my teeth from screaming out in pain from the note. I blinked a couple times as I wiggled my toes, not wanting to cry.

"Jane, what's wrong; are you cold?" He asked, sounding genuinely worried. Why couldn't I just love him and not Neville? I shook my head and looked at him, giving him a small smile.

"No, I'm just thinking about the girl that got hit by a guard the other night." I said, smoothly. He nodded his head as a servant brought our first course.

"I'm sure she's fine darling." I smiled up at the servant and silently thanked him. He nodded his head before dismissing himself.

"I was thinking about the wedding. I even talked to your dad about it today once we got back from our ride," He started to say, taking a bite of his salad. I played with the lettuce on my plate, watching him carefully.

"We're planning it to be in one month. Since, you're eighteen already since the day of the ball and there wasn't really any reason to wait, he agreed it would be best, considering we would end up together in the end." He said, smiling up at me. I felt myself actually wanting to run away and cry. I hope Neville comes back before then.