Purposely Perfect

Chapter 31

Nicole's POV

Its been 3 months since I was in the hospital. And I'm 4 months pregnant. Harry's been different. He doesn't like talking about the baby. Its heartbreaking. I know he won't love the baby. And that saddens me. He never wants to feel the baby kick, he just doesn't want anything to do with it. Whenever I confront him about it, he acts like he doesn't know what I'm talking about.

But today were going to the doctors to see the gender and how the baby's doing.

Harry was hesitant about it at first, but I convinced him.

He's been really protective over me ever since....you know. He's basically gone back to normal except for the baby. I know its his uncles baby, but its not it's fault.

"You ready babe?" he asked.

"Yup!"

We hopped in the car and headed to the doctor office.

*doctors office*

I was laying on the bed with the gooey stuff on my stomach. I could see the baby on the monitor.

I looked over at Harry and smiled. He gave me a small smile back, but it was fake.

I frowned and turned my attention back to the screen.

"Would you like to know the gender?" the lady asked.

I was the only one that nodded.

"It's a girl!" she said.

I had a huge smile on my face. Even though I didn't particularly want this baby, nor was she planned, I still loved her.

I look over at Harry and he wasn't smiling. He was staring at the ground.

My smile faded a little bit. I could understand his pain. The father of the baby had raped him too. I mean the Father is his uncle. But he could be at least a little happy.

"She has a slower heartbeat than normal. we should watch out for that. just be cautious. but I'm pretty sure everything will be okay." said the lady."

I was a little worried but she said  everything will be okay, I trust her.

******

When we were leaving I confronted Harry again.

"Why do not love her?" I asked him.

He looked down at me in shock, he wasn't expecting that question.

" Nicole, I'm afraid everytime I look into those babies eyes I'm going to see my uncles eyes, and that would be pure hell. everytime I would look at her memories would come flooding back to me. I don't want to experience that everyday. I feel like everytime I look at her I would just see my uncle."

I felt bad for him, but it's not just his uncles baby its half of me too.

"The babys half me? would that help?" I asked him.

"I hope she gets all your beauty, and none of his personality." said Harry.

" I would die to be the father of her. I want to be the father of her. I want to look into her eyes and see us. Not the man that raped you and me. Not the man put his ball through hell. I want to see good memories  in her eyes, I've always wanted to be a dad. But the dad of my own child."

"I'm sorry Harry. I didn't know you felt that way."

He just nodded.

I hope he doesn't reject the baby. I know how it feels to be rejected. And I don't want her going through that.