a pair of differences • loki | discontinued

CHAPTER FORTY TWO

 Adara's POV

I sit in my room staring at my floor. Thoughts run through my brain like a tornado. I thought about everything that had happened today. I was so angry, sad, so many emotions boiling up inside me. I had to vent. Changing out of my torn clothes, I changed into a green tank top and a pair of black leggings. I walked out my door, careful not to run into anyone. The place basically looked deserted. I walk into the gym. Luckily it was empty. I saw a punching bag and I wrapped my hands, as well as my hair into a ponytail.

I took a deep breath and punched it once. As soon as I did, I felt better. I focused on Leon's words. Everything he said to me. He killed my father. One punch. He killed my mother. Another punch. He tried to kill me. Another punch. Soon I was striking the bag with full hits. I was hitting it so hard, my knuckles were bleeding despite them being covered. I hit again and again. Every. Single.Word. I punched so hard and so fast my hands started to blur. I finally gave one last punch before stopping and running out of breath.

I lean my head on the bag, breathing heavily. I stand back up, wiping sweat off my forehead. I feel a tear slide down my cheek and I let it fall. The words ran threw my head to fast. I tried to lower the voices but it kept rising.

"Stop it." I mutter and it stops. But one last sentence echoed in my skull.

"Do you ever feel that something in that part of your life is...missing?"

Suddenly I hear someone and I looked to the doorway. I see Pepper with her hands over her mouth.

"Hey Pepper." I say. She suddenly runs up to me, engulfing me into a hug. She tightens her grip on me so hard I flinch from my side.

"Um, can't breath..." I said and she let go. She gave me a sad smile.

"I heard what happened. I am so glad you are ok." She said and she hugged me again.

"I am fine. I only got a flesh wound that's all." I tell her.

We talked for a while, going into the kitchen to have hot chocolate. We laughed and joked, taking my mind away from the bad. For the time being, I didn't worry about what was going to happen. I didn't worry about the past. I just thought about know. Drinking hot chocolate and laughing.

The next day when I woke up I decided not to leave bed. I stared at the ceiling, my brown hair casting halo above my head. I drum my fingers on my blanket, pondering what to think about. I start to think about things before everything happened. Before I knew about my powers. Before the attack on New York. Just when I was a small new SHIELD agent. I remembered the fuss that I convihad gone over the base when Thor had landed here. I had never gotten to see him first hand but I had seen the pictures.

I wondered what Loki was doing when that happened. Or before. He was thousands of years old. I sighed. I would be lying if I said I wasn't thinking of Loki. He seemed to always be on my mind. And when he was in front of me, my heart raced and I always felt my stomach drop as if I was on a roller coaster. I didn't know what that meant. When I saw him, my mind flashed to when we said goodbye. My lips still tingled from the memory. I had never really had a real kiss before. I had seduced men before but I never really kissed them. I wonder if I will ever kiss him again...

I groaned, throwing my blankets off. I rubbed my head, glancing at the door. I didn't know if I could face them again. Even the thought of made me sick. No wait...I actually felt sick. I clutched my stomach, leaning over the side of the bed. I felt bile rise in my throat and I ran to the bathroom. I threw up into the toilet, my stomach lurched and I felt the contents of my last meal come out of me. Once I had stopped I flushed the toilet, slowly leaning against the toilet. I clutched my stomach as a headache sharply hit my skull.

I sat there for a moment until it passed and I slowly came to my feet. I felt like shit. I leaned on the counter and saw myself in the mirror. My skin was pasty. My eyes had dark circles under them and my green eyes were glazed over. I took my makeup bag, applying minor make up to my face. I then brushed my teeth, washing the vile taste from my mouth.

Once I was done I looked somewhat alright. I walked back into my room, changing into a black hoodie and pair of pants. I convinced myself that I couldn't hide in here forever. So gaining all my courage, I walked out of my door. I walked down some steps and as I came into the kitchen I spotted them all sitting at the table. I stop in my tracks. I couldn't do this. I turned around, ready to run when I was stopped.

"Hey shorty." Tony's voice said and I froze. Shit. I turned around to see everyone facing me. I gave a nervous laugh.

"Hey." I said. I knew I wasn't going to get out of it so I walked up them.

"You've been up there for awhile." Clint said and I knitted my brow.

"What do you mean? I just woke up?" I said. I looked at the digital numbers on the oven. 12:13. I gaped at it.

"Yeah." Tony said. "Were eating lunch right now if you want to join us." I pondered it. I thought why not, pushing aside our last conversation, pulling up a chair next to Steve and Nat. She offered me a grape and I took it. There was a collection of sandwiches on the table and I happily bit into it. It was turkey with mustard. It was good.

"Yeah. I think it's good too." Clint says and I raise a brow.

"How could you tell?" I ask.

"Your eyes cross when you like something food wise." He says.

"I do not!"

"Yeah you do." Nat comments and I shake my head. We all start to have a nice conversation which lifted my spirits a bit. After lunch I had no idea what to do. I wanted to relax. So, I walked down the halls in search for Tony's library. I had been there a couple of times in my time here. I had been in the middle of a good book and I had yet tried to finish it. Finally finding the library I walked in. The library was large. Book shelves as far as the eye could see, stacked high and tall.

I guess Tony had made it seem as less of a library as possible so I saw large couches pressed up against walls and a large flat screen T.V hanging from the ceiling. I tried to remember where I had left my book but then I follow the book shelves into the back. I find the section I am looking for and I pull a book out. I saw the dog eared page I had left was still there. Smiling, I walk into the back where I normally sat. But imagine my surprise when I saw someone else there. I saw Loki, his legs crossed on a table, holding a book to his eyes.