Wonderful Caricature (Ryden)

IV

lmao i'm sorry. i will try to update this more than once a month.

anywho. enjoy this gif of brendon kinda smiling. (if it actually plays, IM SORRY.)

~

"Ah, going with the red pumps tonight?"

Hello, Tyler. Your panties are showing, darling. You may have just burst in here two minutes ago, but that doesn't mean you can't be at least half ready.

You missed the hippie era by a few years. Nobody likes a hairy lady.

Well, I'm sure somebody does, but not the guys that hang around here.

"Well, I thought I'd shake things up a bit," I'll admit, I look kind of cute. I should. Corsets are not my favourite things to wear, but fuck it, it comes with the job, "I'm expecting a couple people, so I might as well look kind of nice."

"Oh, yes," Tyler rolls his eyes, but he's smiling, too, "Because wearing fishnet stockings and lacy underwear is 'kind of nice' for you."

I don't blame him. I wasn't even planning on doing anything with this little ensemble I've been tweaking for the last couple weeks. What was I doing at the stroke of midnight on New Years? Slowly giving myself carpal tunnel with a glue gun and a sewing machine because I sure wasn't kissing anyone.

I saw Rocky Horror Picture Show one time and it's ruined my entire life.

I exaggerate, but not by much.

The way I'm dressed definitely reflects that.

I mean, sure, Frank N. Furter's signature heels aren't red, but I'm not going for something so accurate, the Godfather of.. whatever film company comes knocking at my door. This, ladies and gents, is why we tweak things ever so slightly. You get the reference, but not immediately.

Honestly, I just going for 'Lady On Her Wedding Night.'

I mean, if nothing else, I look hot as hell. Which says a lot because if you're looking to self compliments, I'm not your guy.

My mom doesn't buy the normal man's version of birthday gifts anymore. I stopped asking for anything a while ago, but I still ended up with a meter of lace and some of the prettiest red pumps I've ever laid my eyes on. I almost made her take them back. Almost.

Now, surely, a wicked witch is gonna want her sister's shoes back, but I've narrowly avoided tornadoes for this long. So, what's the rest of my life?

"I will admit, the room is a bit more chilly than it usually is," Last couple swipes of mascara.. Done, "What do you need? I know you're not over here for small talk, we have twenty minutes left."

"Right, um," He seems so nervous, even though we both know how this works. I don't see any for these people outside of this building, so I wouldn't consider us the good buddies you were looking for. We're cordial, but only when we need help. Why do you think I have a grand total of three friends? "Everything..? If that's at all possible?"

Nineteen minutes and counting.

Eh, I can probably pull this off.

"Strip," I don't even bat an eye, I don't have time, "I'll ask around for stuff," I'm about to get up, but I eye him curiously instead, "Unless you're lying, in which case, I've lost all interest in this."

Tyler smirks, then laughs as he walks off, "Well, Mr. Holmes, nice to see you've taken the time to make an appearance."

I am not Sherlock Holmes. I'm just observant, but I know Tyler would love to think that he outsmarted me, so.. whatever makes him happy.