Wonderful Caricature (Ryden)

XI

"Dallon, are you alright?"

"I thought you died!"

Knew I should've left that note. What is this, the third time I'm reflecting on hindsight?

What's the old saying?

'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times...'

God, how does that quote even end?

"Dallon, hey. Hey.." I half smile and cup his face in my hands, but he avoids my eyes like the plague. I deserve that, I guess, "Honey, I'm right here. You don't have to look at me, but know I'm here. I'm not gonna leave you all alone. Patrick's just been real sick lately and Pete asked me to check up on him. We go way back and I owe them my life," The first year after Dan was the worst year of my life and they saw me through every deep, dark, depressing second of it. I can't thank them enough for that, "Tell me what I can do, lovely. What can I do to put a smile on that pretty face of yours?"

"Talk to me. About anything," He softens and gives me what I can only accurately describe as puppy eyes, "I missed your voice the most. It's smooth and calming and you say a lot of the right things," That's the first time I've ever heard that one. I'm usually sitting pretty on the corner of Embarrassing Avenue and God-Help-Me Street, "I wouldn't say 'all of the right things,' but most of them," Ah, that sounds more like me.

"Well, I'll tell you about a book I read while I was over at Pete's. It was fascinating," I stroll over to the refrigerator in search of the pitcher of Long Island Iced Tea I'd made a few nights ago. Just a little something to take the edge off. More of a summer drink, really, but it won't kill me to have a sip in January, "Should be.." Where the hell did I put it? Hm... Ah! "Quite educational for you, too. I'll have to ask Pete if I could borrow it from it sometime," I turn around to face him, a smile across my face and the pitcher in my hand, "Tea?"

He nods without saying a word as he sits himself down at the table and I place the pitcher near him while I go fetch two glasses, "It's about an artist from the twenties, Lili Elbe. Have you ever heard of her?"

Dallon cocks a curious eyebrow at me and shakes his head when I turn around, glasses in hand, to catch his non-verbal response, "Can't say that I have."

"Let me start with a.. different question, then," How shall I put this delicately? "You know how I'm a drag queen, right?" He nods slowly as if he figures there's more to the question. He figures right, "B-But that has nothing to do with how I feel about.. myself. I-I know I'm a man," Very convincing, I know. I did theatre in high school, if you could believe it. Got the lead my junior year. Yeah, all of that went away as soon as I packed away my cap and gown. Actually, I think I sold them to some kid in the year below me, "From my understanding, there are.." I clear my throat, silently hoping he takes this information well, "Some people in the world who are born.. wrong. They feel wrong."

From the look on his face, I can tell he isn't getting it and I'm doing a pretty terrible job at explaining it so a lot of this is on me, "What do you mean?"

"Lili was born as a man, but for much of her life, she felt like a woman. Lili, who was then known as Einar, had a wife, Gerda, who was also a painter. Gerda was born a woman, just to get that question out of the way. Lili, who was known as Einar for most of her life, was asked by her wife to pose for a picture she was painting. This involved Einar putting on a dress and when he did, everything felt right. All the feelings he'd been having his whole life felt right for once. Being Lili felt right," A part of me could relate, I guess. In a way. Not completely, of course, "So that's what she did. She lived as herself, loved as herself with her wife. Y'know until the government found out and made them get a divorce a year or so before Lili would die from complications from one of her surgeries. She died happy, though, because she had finally started to live as the woman she knew she always could be."