Emberborn

What Have I Done?

I woke up to the feeling of cool metal against my skin.

When my eyes fluttered open, all I saw was a faint light shining on the stone floor. I was rubbing the tiredness from my eyes when my head started to throb relentlessly. I bit back a hiss as I reached up to feel a warm liquid on the back of my head.

I struggled around to sit up straight. My vision was blurry even in the darkness that surrounded me.

There was only enough light to see a faint impression of my surroundings, but what I saw stole my breath away.

I looked around the stone room and saw the reality of my situation.

I'm in a cell.

No, not a cell. It was more like a dungeon.

I was chained to the stone wall with shackles at my wrists and ankles. The place smelled like wet moss and there were roots and weeds poking through the cracks in the wall. There was no window, only a door made up of metal bars that led into a hallway lit up by torches.

My heartbeat picked up quickly as the fear set in.

I yanked on the chains time and time again to see if they would budge. I pulled the chains with all of my might, but they wouldn't give.

"Don't bother," a feeble voice called out.

I looked up to discover a familiar man bound by the same chains. Although it was dark, I could see his bruised eyes and bloody wrists.

"I already tried."

I felt my heart shatter at the sight of him. I couldn't breathe.

Why was he here?

He doesn't deserve to be here, I do. I was the one who broke Fallon's rules, I was the one who pushed his buttons and pissed him off; me, not him.

"No, Jax...

"I... I'm so sorry, this is all my f-" I was cut off by a deep growl coming from Jax.

My eyes widened at the unusual noise, but I wasn't frightened. He let out a long sigh before looking up at me with eyes filled with agony and exhaustion.

"Do not blame yourself for this, not even for a second. This is Fallon's doing, not yours."

His voice was so hoarse and shaky that it was barely recognizable.

I couldn't help but blame myself for this, for his pain and I couldn't stop the tears as they began to leak from my eyes. I felt so helpless and now Jax is going to suffer.

The guilt I felt seemed to endlessly eat away at me. There were so many heart-wrenching thoughts that consumed my mind. I was careless for feeling so deeply for that man, I was stubborn for not just abiding by his wants, I was stupid for ever thinking that I could change him and understand him.

I did all of this and for what? To get my heart ripped apart over and over again? To be locked up and have the only person that cares about me to get locked up too?

I was a monster for risking Jax's well-being for my own problems.

Suddenly, everything became too much for me to handle. I couldn't hold these feeling inside of me any longer. As all of the pain, frustration, and torment piled up inside of me, I snapped. I cried out in anger as my fist slammed into the stone next to me.

It cracked a little under the force of my blow and I stared at it unbelievingly. I just cracked a stone with one hit.

"Atarah..." His pleading voice called out, snapping me from the trance I was in.