you promised (Frerard)

part 6 (hello again)

Sadly I won't have WiFi until the 25th this month because I'm moving and there wont be any updates until then..
So have fun with this one

10 minutes later he arrived and sat down opposite of me.

"You wanted to see me?" He had the same grin as back then plastered on his face.

"Yeah. I've been planing to for some time. But right now I just needed to get out of my home. My friends I live with were being huge dicks to me." I don't know why I gave him such an honest answer but it just naturally happened. I've always felt at ease with him.

"Those three from high school?"

"Yep" I said popping the 'p'

"So.. What has the amazing Frank down with his life?" He grinned.

"I started my second year in college quite some time ago and as you know I work at that small café around the corner of the park" I told him as I got lost in his sparkling eyes.

"What about you?" I motioned with my hands for him to talk.

"I gave up on being a teacher. It wasn't really my thing. I work in a music shop not too far from here. I actually opened it a year ago" his grin grew as he was talking about his job which he seemed to love so much.

"Glad to see you're happy" I returned the smile.

"You want something to eat or drink? My treat" I offered him the menu card.

"No. You?" I quickly shook my head.

"Are you even eating properly?" His question sucked the air out of my lunges.

"You look so skinny" his eyes held comfort but I just couldn't. I quickly clicked back into defensive mode.

"Why does everyone care about my eating habits. It's my body. Not theirs" I raised my voice.

"So that's why you were pissed of at your friends? So many people are worried about you. Why don't you just eat and get it over with. You make us worry" his words only seems to make me boil. He didn't know anything about me. He could never understand how it is to be fat and ugly. He is perfect. Skinny , hot and just gorgeous. Something I will never be no matter how hard I try.

And with that I ran away again and luckily I ran into a cute guy to which I then went home with and fucked.

--------

It was after midnight again and I was trying to get as quiet as possible in my room again. I was sick of it but I had no other choice. I ruined everything by running away. I didn't even want to but my legs just moved.
I feel bad for doing this. I want to fix everything. But how? I will never get better. I will always run whenever things get bad just a tiny bit.

I laid down on my bed and let my thoughts consume me of what I should do. I have no idea. I now only don't have my friends to talk to but I also lost Gerard who I know would always forgive me but I can't forgive myself.

I heard a knock upon my door.

"Yes?" I called out after a moment of hesitation. Upon my calling Kellin's head peaked into my room.

"Hey" his voice was soft as if I'd break if he talked normal. I won't break just by being touched. Why can't they treat me normal?

"I'm sorry for yesterday" he started to talk when he noticed I wouldn't answer anytime soon. I nodded and motioned with my hands for him to come closer and patted the spot next to me on my bed. He got the note and sat down beside me.

I didn't say anything I just laid my head in his lap and buried my face in his lower abdomen. "I want to get better" my voice was muffled so he didn't hear it and wanted me to repeat it.

"I do want to get better" I repeated "I'm just scared that people will see me as fat. I mean how can they see me as skinny if I think I'm this fat. I don't want to feel so worthless anymore. I don't want to cut or drown myself in vodka. I just want to be normal. But I'm also scared of being normal." I explained. I wasn't hiding my face in his stomach anymore and he was running his hands through my hair.

"Why are you scared of that?" Good question. I honestly can't give a good explanation "what will I have left? Will I just be a boring kid?" I mostly talked to myself

"You will never be boring. I mean, you're Frank Anthony Iero" he smiled down at me and surprisingly a genuine smile fell onto my face.

"Thank you" I said. "I will promise to eat more but can we start to work on my depression? I want to take it step by step" he accepted my offer which was a little surprising.

"Now, get Vic and let's have some fun. I'm horny. And I don't think Vic would like us two doing it alone" I pouted needy for attention

"Sure" he smirked back "you've been dangerously close to my crotch for some time now which turns me on" he texted Vic to come into my room. While he texted I noticed it wasn't dark anymore outside which it was when I came back home. I must had been thinking for a long time until Kellin came in.

"I heard someone here is horny" Vic made an entrance.

"We always are horny for you" Kellin pulled Vic onto my bed to us. We have never did this in my room but I don't mind at all. This is different so I actually like it.

"Mhh.. Your so hot, kells" he massaged my best friend through his sweatpants. Just watching them turned me on so much. I've never questioned why I liked this. I just accepted it and I'm totally fine with just the blow- and handjobs I receive during these things. Vic would never let me top him and Kellin won't take two and me bottoming is out of question since that incident.

                                                Words: 1032