you promised (Frerard)

part 13 (sex)

I know Gerard wants it. I know it. He always begins to grind on me when we cuddle or make out and I always have to tell him I'm not ready.

He thinks I'm not ready because I'm scared he just wants me for sex, who h isn't true.  We've been together for a month again and I want it too. I'm just scared and I know he would never let me top.

He told me countless times he doesn't want me only for sec and I believed it after the first time. And of I hadn't I would have after the second time.  After that he told me about 10 more times.

I don't want to make him hold back for me. I know he spends very long in the shower right now because of a very obvious reason.

I need I ty it.  Let him make me his again.  I wan to be his again.

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I wrapped my arms around his neck as Ipressed my lips against his.

"Ah" I moaned when he pressed his crotch against mine.

"You're so beautiful" he breathed against my lips, staring up at my eyes.

"I need you" I said as I dragged him down an to the bed and on top of me.

"I need you too" Gerard whispered as he pulled his shirt off,  mine soon following. I ran my hand slowly over his bulge until I felt his belt.  I began to unbuckle it as he placed soft and tender kisses on my neck.

"Mhh.. Baby. Need you so much" I groaned and was finally able to pull his very tight jeans down.

We took the rest of each others clothes off until we we're completely naked. My gaze ran over his naked body taking in every little detail of his beautiful body.

Gerard laid me down on my back and hovered above me with a bid distance which he soon closed and kisses me on my lips shortly. After my lips he went to my neck where he sucked on my sweet spot. It felt good but I soon felt panic rising up. He loved to suck on my neck and to leave hickeys.

I swallowed my fear and rolled my hips into his causing a moan to slip from his lips.

"Lube?" He paused our moment to ask. I motioned to the bedside table.

A few moment later he came back with the lube in his hands smirking. As soon as he was on top of me he opened the lube bottle and squirted some onto his fingers.

My panic began to rise more and I was able to feel my heart speed up way to fast as my breathing got heavier. He didn't seem to notice at first.  He only did when his fingers were touching my entrance and I was shaking in fear as tears we're freely running down my cheeks.

"Hey, what's wrong, honey?" His fingers left my entrance. He wiped his fingers on the sheet and rolled off of me. He now sat against the headboard and pulled my head onto his naked lap. He was still hard but I knew he would grow soft soon.  I'm disgusting and pathetic.  How could anyone find me attractive?

"I'm sorry" I whispered "i can't tell you. Its definitely not your fault if you may think that" I said as I tried to hide my face behind my hair which wasn't long enough for that.

"Other stuff is OK. Just no me on the bottom. I can top, we can do other things but not this. I'm so sorry. Someday I will tell you."

"Why won't you tell me? I think I deserve to know why my boyfriend doesn't want me to fuck him. You never had a problem with it before" Gerard voice grew louder. He didn't know what he was doing to me but I knew what he was doing. He was fucking scaring me.

"I'm scared, OK! Not just that you'll leave after you fuck me. Things you will never understand OK?!" I yelled back as I scooter further away from him. I was now able to see how his cock was soft.  It made me sad but it was somehow understandable. How would be hard while arguing?

"I promise I will tell you what's wrong when I'm ready but I'm jut not. OK?" My voice was now softer.

"I'm sorry. I guess I'm just frustrated from not being touched in so long. I love you so much. I don't want to hurt you. Will you forgive me?"

"I will always forgive you. I love you too. More than you will ever know." I smiled at him as I crawled back to him.

"So.. Since you haven't been touched in a while .. What about we have a little fun right now?" I asked in a hopefully seductive tone.  But it seemed to have worked because he was slowly growing again.

My smirk grew as my hand reached out to grab his member. Mhh.. So hot. You're so hard. Just for me. So big" I groaned as I curled my fingers around him and began to stroke his length.

"Oh God, so good" he moaned in response to my hand. I began to flick my wrist faster just so I could hear his beautiful moans.

"So close" he gasped after a few minutes of my movements.

"Cum for me, baby" I whispered into his ear which apparently did it for him because he then spilled I to my hand.

I licked the cum off of my fingers before I laid down pulling the covers over my body.

"Lay down with me?" I smiled tiredly.

"Don't you want me to return the favor?" He sounded confused because I always was the horny one of us.

"Not today. I'm tired. I want to cuddle with you" I said making grabby hands. His soft chuckle filled my ears to my actions but he laid down anyways and wrapped his arm loosely around my neck. He was spooning me and placing soft kisses on my neck until I fell asleep.

                                              Words: 1022

Some parts of this suck so much but I finally somehow got this done. I didn't know how I was gonna write this part of the story line but I managed.