Ode of Laundry Machine **

Clorox - Father

I'm going to be a dad. I'm going to be a dad. I'm going to be a dad. I couldn't believe it. Sock was going to be a mother and I was the father. What the actual heel. I could feel her every sob as I carried her home. She cried herself to sleep. I felt bad for Sock. it was too soon and neither of us were ready to be parents. The thought of the child was blissful however. The thought of our genetics SQUASHED together in a single child was perfect. I already knew I was handsome and Sock was beautiful also. The situation was a total mixed bag. When we arrived back home, I set her down gently on my sponge couch, kissing her on the forehead softly. I decided to try cooking again. I haven't cooked since the pasta incident. This time however, I tried a recipe passed down from my aunt Virginia. The recipe was for an exquisite salmon dish, served with an unknown sauce. I remember how much I used to love the food my aunt made. I licked my lips and began.

When I finished I grabbed a fork and took a small bite, so Sock wouldn't notice. It was the best thing I've ever cooked! I looked away from the masterpiece of a dish as to not eat the rest of it. I let it cool for a few minutes. Sock woke up the moment I set down the tray. She sniffed the air. "Is this for me?" she asked. "Of course sock! Only the best food for my lovely sock!" I exclaimed. She watched me skeptically. "What place did you order from?" she questioned. I was offended! Never in my life has someone said that to me! "Sock, I made it myself! it's my aunt Virginia's recipe." Sock chuckled dismissively. "Sure, sure, of course," she replied sarcastically. When she took her first bite, her face lit up. It was the face of pure wonder, a most wonderful sight to behold. "Why Clorox! I've never tasted anything so splendid!" she cried. I was going to be a great father.

THE NEXT DAY*****

I yawned and rubbed the crust out of my eyes. I looked over to see that Sock was... gone? I searched under the bed, in the toilet, and in my fridge, but Sock was nowhere to be found. I shouted her name. "Sock!" Just then, the door opened and Sock walked in, holding bags and bags of god knows what. I was relieved and angry at the same time. Why didn't she tell me she was going somewhere?  I let my breath out. I decided not to say anything as to not anger Sock and her now-hormonal self. "I am so sorry Clorox!" she said. "I was restless so I puked a bit then headed off to the mall!" "Why the mall?" I ventured. "Stuff for the baby of course! It's all gender neutral so we won't have to worry about returning all this!" I was proud of Sock. She was going to be such a great mother. I pulled her into an embrace and slowly made my way down to her stomach. "Hi small child! This is your father speaking!" I whispered into her flat-ish belly. She giggled and rubbed her belly. "This child is going to be so perfect Clorox!" she exclaimed. "I know my love, I know."

All through the day, we planned our child's future. From schools, to color schemes for his\her room. I couldn't wait. My life couldn't have been happier. I was having a child with my one true love and I spent some of my money on a ring I was going to give her last week but after we found out about the child, I decided to save it for after. The word daddy seemed so surreal and I couldn't wait to have a little Sock call me that. I thought there was no one that I would ever love as much as I love Sock, but I was wrong. It's strange how something so small, can fill you with more happiness than any rich man could have.