MerAdd Oneshots

Are you cold?

I hated Seattle.

Between the rain and the cold, between the clouds and the storms, between Derek and Meredith and my life being completely torn apart, I couldn't stand the place. Seattle was not home to any of my fondest memories, or even a single memory that I liked. Seattle reminded me of all the things I'd ever fucked up in my life.

On this particularly cold day in mid November, it was lightly raining and I was sitting outside alone, because that's how I always was; lonely.

I'd seen a psychiatrist after months of feeling as if my entire life had ended, like I was dead on my feet but still breathing. She'd said I had situational depression, and began to list off all of my options to get better. Some were medications, but most were daily lifestyle changes I could use to better my situation.

So, alone I sat outside, trying to not feel depressed while simultaneously feeling hopeless at the same time. The bite in the air took my mind somewhat off of my problems, but I still couldn't shake the feeling of loneliness that had encased me.

"Are you cold?" Meredith Grey sounded from beside me, as she draped a jacket over my shoulders and sat down next to me. "I don't want to butt in or anything, but you look lonely. I've been watching you sit here absently for the last twenty minutes"

Truly, I knew Meredith wasn't a bad person. This only confirmed it, as I tightened the jacket around me and sighed, grateful not only for the warmth but for the unexpected company to pull me out of my own thoughts.

"I hate the weather here" I tell her bluntly "absolutely hate it; makes me want to crawl up in bed and stay there all day"

I don't look over at her, but in my peripheral vision I see her nodding in agreement. "I grew up in Boston, but I'm from Seattle. I wouldn't know how to deal with sunshine but yet, every morning it's grey I want to go back to sleep"

We sit in silence for several moments, before I speak again. "You know it's really ironic; my doctor told me to spend more time outside if I wanted to feel happier. But this is just fucking pathetic"

With that, we were both laughing. I don't know if it was at the irony or the weather or both, but we sat and we laughed together, as the rain began to pour a little harder than before. Anyone walking by might've thought we were nuts.

"Oh Jesus" Meredith sighs, as the laughter subsides and we regain control of ourselves. "It's gross out here. Why don't we go inside?" She stands up and offers me a hand. Hesitantly, I think for a moment before taking it. I figure what the hell, it's only uphill from here.

Hand grasped firmly in mine, Meredith and I walked together to the nearest on call room. Still holding hands, we went in and looked at each other oddly for a moment.

Something shifted in the air, not anything sexual, something romantic. Like I could cuddle up to her and fall straight to sleep. Her presence comforted me greatly in this moment, and I didn't want it to stop.

"Do you want to-"

"Climb in, Addie"

Like this was the most natural thing in the world, I climbed into bed and Meredith climbed in with me, pulling me close to her chest and sighing in content.

"Why do you feel so sad?" Meredith whispers into my hair, her fingertips gently tracing unrecognizable patterns into my flesh.

I sigh for a moment, and stop her ministrations to take her hand into my own and lace our fingers together. "I'm lonely, I'm alone" I whisper so silently I was surprised she heard me. It was pathetic to say, I felt like a baby, but it was true. I had nobody.

"You could have me" she replies "if you want me, I'm yours"

I chuckle lowly, and flip over so I'm facing her. We're so close together, I can feel her hot breath against my face. But I don't dare move away. "That sounds like a proposition" I counter "you've seen me, how nuts I am. You know that I'm broken. Why would you wanna be within ten feet of me?"

To me, it was a genuine question. In that moment, she was everything I needed.

"You're different" she says simply "and I want more of that. I wanna hold you when you're upset and smile with you when you're happy. You're beautiful when you smile, you know"

I wasn't sure what shifted in my stomach, but something noticeably changed.

"You really want me?" I asked in a small, still unsure voice. But she nodded firmly, as if this were the most sure she'd been about anything in her life.

"I'm yours"