MerAdd Oneshots

Lets have a baby

Meredith and I were no more than friends; of course, we were very good friends and we'd become as close as we could be in our time knowing one another, but we were just friends. Friends, and nothing else.

Of course, I'd had some complicated feelings towards her. Feelings of attraction and very emotional romantic feelings. But I never acted on them; she was a friend, a colleague, she couldn't be more. It wouldn't be right, not after everything that's happened.

But I trusted her. With my life, with the lives of my patients, with the reputation I had. I went out on many limbs for her when she was an intern, and even during her first year of residency, but now she was a second year resident and fully capable of fighting her own battles. In a strange way, I was proud of how far she'd come.

Which is why I trusted her enough to aid me in my secret quest. Well, quest is a bit of a dramatic word to use. I had a task I'd wanted completed secretly, had I been able to do it myself I gladly would have. Unfortunately, my task involved the expertise of another skilled doctor and Meredith happened to be one I trusted not to fuck this up.

"Grey, you're stuck with me for the next few hours. I need your help" I asked her, as I approached her in the hallway. It was early still, but I had a very open schedule. A scheduled c-section in the afternoon for a Mother who was overdue with her baby, and a postpartum exam for a woman who'd given birth six weeks ago and needed the go-ahead to start having sex again. A slow day, deliberately planned so I could get Meredith's help with my task.

"What's up, Addie?" She asked, sipping her coffee with curious eyes.

"You've got no interns today?" I ask, leading her towards an empty exam room. She entered behind me, and I firmly shut and locked the doors. Thank god the maternity ward exam rooms didn't have windows like the rest of the hospitals; generally, seeing a woman with her legs spread and vagina out wasn't something everyone wanted to see, so windows were a strong no.

"They're all gone to a convention, nobody has any interns today" she informs me, laying her coffee down on the counter as I drag an ultrasound machine next to the bed and set it up into working order. "Can I ask what's going on, Addison? This is a bit odd, I'm worried for your well-being"

"Okay" I say, once I've got the ultrasound machine situated. "I'm telling you this because we're friends and I trust you. I've been trying to get artificially inseminated for six months now. I've had six attempts, all failed. The clinic I've been going to is an hour away, I didn't want anyone here knowing" I wring my hands nervously, waiting to see her reaction.

"I'm glad you're following your dreams and all, but what does that have to do with me?" She asks inquisitively, seemingly unfazed by my news.

"They did an ultrasound, an external one, and they said my uterus was fine. But I'd rather do an internal ultrasound and see for myself. They refused to do one because it was deemed unnecessary, and they chalked up my inability to conceive to my age" I explain, motioning to the ultrasound machine next to me "I want to keep this on the down low, so I need you to do an internal ultrasound on me, so I know what's going on"

She raises an eyebrow. "You could've went to a different hospital. Seattle Presbyterian has a good fertility staff. Why go through all this trouble?"

"Because this way I can see for myself. Look, if you don't want to do it-" I begin, but she cuts me off.

"I didn't say I wouldn't do it. Up on the table and spread 'em"

~

A month later, I was on a table having my eggs extracted for IVF treatments.

"Everything looks normal" Meredith had told me, showing me the screen "no signs of abnormalities"

This had left me with the impression that my eggs were the problem; my uterus looked healthy, so it was only reasonable that my problem would be the eggs. Meredith had agreed with me, and we'd gone looking for the best IVF clinic Seattle had to offer that evening.

Meredith had insisted on coming with me for the egg retrieval. She'd been gowned and gloved and masked, and sat next to me and held my hand as the rather unpleasant experience took place.

"Are you alright?" She asked, as we both watched the doctor begin the procedure. "Not in any excruciating pain I hope?" I was nervous, and slightly uncomfortable as anyone would be, but not in pain. I nodded my head no, and she just nodded, seemingly nervous herself.

"I can't seem to find many eggs" the doctor had said, halfway through the procedure "ideally, I'd take at least ten, fifteen, sometimes even twenty. I'm almost done here, and I'm not even close to that many" he says, and I start to panic.

"How many do you have?" I ask, as Meredith squeezes my hand reassuringly.

He sighs, and looks at me over the mask that covers half of his face. "I've got four"

Devastation filled my entire body. Four eggs wouldn't be nearly enough, I knew that better than anyone. By the time they'd be fertilized and frozen, it was doubtful any would even survive the night. I felt tears roll down my face, and Meredith wiped them away gently.

"It's okay, alright?" She says soothingly "we'll find another way to do this, I know it" she strokes my cheek softly, and I feel more comfort than I've felt in months.

"Your wife is right; have you considered reciprocal IVF? If you'd like to be the one to carry, then we can take eggs from your wife and implant them into your womb, considering all tests have shown your uterus is fully capable of carrying a child"

"Oh, she's not-" I begin to say, but Meredith cuts me off.

"That's a lovely idea" Meredith says "my eggs should be good, I get a reminder every month or so that everything is in working order. Why not use mine?"

I just look at her, unsure if the medications I've been given are making me hallucinate.

~

"Lets have a baby" Meredith says, the next night, after confirming that her offer was completely valid. "I've always wanted kids, and you want them too. We could raise a baby together, that way there would be two parents" she reasons, and I look at her as if she's got six heads.

"You want to have a baby together?" I ask her, eyebrows practically up on my forehead "you're offering to be the biological mother to my baby, and to act as a second parent? Meredith, you're so young, I don't want you to think you have to do this for me" I fret, unsure that she was seeing the entirety of the situation at hand. "You don't understand what you're offering me"

"I do" she says, reaching over to hold my hand in her own "I've been with you for the last month giving you every single injection, going to doctor's appointments, hearing all the negative news and then hearing you cry on the car ride home. I've seen how devastated you are to not be able to do this, the one thing you want most in the world" she's got so much truth and honesty in her eyes, it makes me tear up. An intelligence and understanding beyond her years shows, and I realize she does understand.

"So I do understand what I'm offering; I'm offering to make you happy, to see you smile and your face light up. I'm offering to give you something you want more than anything. I'm offering to give a child the best two parents it could ever have, to give up my entire life as I know it to be happy knowing that I've got all I need; a job, a family, and you"

"Meredith" I can feel the tears rolling down my face "how have you done this to me? I've fallen in love with you, you know? And I probably shouldn't say that, but I am. And now this? I can't begin to know what runs through your mind"

"It's exactly what I wanted to hear. I've had feelings for you since I met you, Addison, and the last month turned them into love. I want to give you everything and anything; including a baby"

"Let's do to then; lets have a baby" I smile a watery smile, and she pulls me into a bone-crushing embrace.

"Usually a relationship comes before a baby" I joke "we're just doing it all backwards, aren't we?"

"We're doing it our way; the best way"