MerAdd Oneshots

I want to take care of you

A/N- have you ever written a thousand words then decided you didn't like the story? Cuz same.

Maybe it was the way she smiled, or the way she laughed or even the look in her eyes when she was happy. Maybe it was everything, but maybe it was nothing. Maybe I just fell for her soul.

Meredith Grey was an exquisite creature, one I'd never thought I'd encounter. I never believed in my life I'd ever love someone the way I fell for her. Because with her...love had a new definition. What I thought was love was no longer, replaced now with the image of a smiling Meredith and those baby blue eyes.

Maybe it was love at first sight, maybe it was when she ghosted her fingers down my arm to grasp my hand firmly in her own, or maybe it was the softness of kisses so delicate my heart melted.

I couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when I fell in love with her. One morning I was myself, I was Addison Montgomery, and the next I was myself and Meredith, Addison Montgomery who happened to live and breathe for this woman.

My entire life, I'd never been treated right. I accepted less than I deserved and I made myself be okay with it. When I had a hard day, and tears rolled down my cheeks, my husband treated me as if I were broken, damaged even. As if I would shatter in an instant and he wouldn't know how to pick me back up again.

She didn't treat me like I was broken. She didn't hold me as if I would crack under the pressure of her soft hands. She held me like she was taking some of the pain away, hard and firm, letting me know she was there and she wasn't going to leave me alone. She held me not as if I were fragile, but as if I were so strong that I needed help carrying everything.

Maybe it was the way she called me in the morning, the way she texted me to make sure I was home safe and sound. Maybe it was how she always asked how my day was, or how when she described me 'smart' always came before 'beautiful'. My mind was valuable above all to her, and maybe that's why I fell in love.

After a long night, where my nerves were long gone and my mind was a mess, she was there. When she held me, and I didn't feel so broken.

"Addie" her gentle voice whispered into my hair, as she clutched my body close to her own, rocking gently on the rug in her living room. "You don't always have to be strong, you know. It's okay to fall, as long as you get back up"

Tears running down my face, I looked up at her and I saw light. In this moment of pure darkness, her eyes were lanterns guiding me home.

She was my home.

"You shouldn't have to deal with this" I'd sniffed "it isn't fair. You deserve someone who's happy all the time, not this mess I've become"

But she shook her head, a small smile teasing the corners of her lips. "You are happy. You make me happy. You're not a mess, my love, you are human. You are allowed to cry, it doesn't make you broken. It makes you strong"

Pure, raw love for her ran through my veins and I swear in that moment my soul somehow tied to hers. In that moment bits of me became bits of her.

"Let me take care of you"

So I did. I let her run me a bath, I let her brush my hair and help me put on some pyjamas. I let her hold me until I fell asleep, and in the morning I woke her with a smile and a kiss, the despair from the previous night had diminished in her wake.

She made me feel whole.

Maybe it was the soft touch of her fingers gliding smooth soap over my battered and worn skin, maybe it was the way she gently massaged shampoo into my matted hair. Maybe it was the way she worked the knots out of my shoulders and kissed each one softly.

All these maybes, but never an answer. I never knew why I loved her, why I continued to love her, why she was my rock when I was lost and alone.

Maybe, just maybe, it was because we were meant to be.