Late Night Thoughts

My dad called

So this evening my dad texted me. It was a simple text.
Father: Happy Monday!!!! Love you!!

I'm not exaggerating the exclamation points!

I sent back the bitmoji with the weight on the person that says "happy Monday" and told him I love him too.

Because I do. I hate him at times but I love him. I mean he is my sperm donor. Even with a heart as cold as mine I have a soft spot for him.

Anywho he replied with;
taking Sammy swimming. Will text a bit later. I'll try to get an action shot.

Sammy is his Rottweiler by the way. Cutest and goofiest fücking dog ever! I love her so much.

So later I get a text from him.

Sammy had a good time, couldn't get any action pics. Gotta go to the store now....oh boy!

I just said good luck and that store adventures are always fun.

And then a few hours later he called. Just to chat. Like a normal 'how was your day, what did you do' kind of conversation.

It's weird. I don't know how I feel. I like it but it's weird. I've gone so many years with someone who wasn't there and when they were they were a friend.

Now he's actually trying! I used to put out all the effort. Everything was one sided.

He completely stopped drinking in the last 2 weeks. I'm talking alcohol is totally gone. His girlfriend of 14 years (technically 15 but fuck truthful details) left him for another guy she'd been talking to. Just up and left saying she couldn't do it anymore.

When I found out I realized just how cold hearted I am. Because I laughed. But I think I already talked about that previously.

Anyways it was weird. He said he'd call at the end of the week so we can chat more.

He's had a horrifying childhood so I know why he's detached and not really a father.

I found out recently what he's been through and things made a lot more sense. But that doesn't give him an excuse. He could have been a different person but he chose not to be until now.

Ugh I'm exhausted and can't sleep so I'm going to watch a movie. Goodbye for now.