Change (everlark)

Chapter 3

Ok so I am now gonna start writing in past tense. Sorry if it's confusing. I just need some training for school.

Song to the chapter, or kinda to the hole story:

How to disappear completely - Radiohead

****

My eyes shifted to the window, paying close attention to the sun that had just risen. The warm colors radiating from the sun mixed with the blurry clouds and the sight was so captivating that I could stop staring.

I came home only a few hours ago, crawling in through my window just like I did sneaking out. I remember the light from the room that was beside mine was on. The curtains were covering the window, but I could still see what I believed was Peeta's silhouette sitting on the sill. The sound was faint, but I still could make out which song he had playing.

The lyrics always made me feel so small, little. That was part of why I never listened to it.

Knowing that Peeta knew the song felt like he knew a part of me that no one else would ever know as well.

If I only had the strength to move, I would've ask him to stop it and never play it again. But in the moment I couldn't do anything. I couldn't do anything else other than to hide under my covers, trembling and letting the tears fall. This was what that song did to me. It could take all power away from me. It made all my emotions show and I felt like I was drowning in them. It scared me.

The words from the lyrics still lingered and the melody somehow still played in my head, and as much as I tried, I couldn't push them away.

That there, that's not me

I go where I please

I walk through walls

I float down the Liffey

In a little while

I'll be gone

The moment's already passed

It's gone

I'm not here

This isn't happening

I'm not here, I'm not here

Strobe lights and blown speakers

Fireworks and hurricanes

* * *

I shut my eyes when I heard the sound footsteps coming toward my room.

The door opened and I knew it was Christian who was coming in.

He knelt down beside my bed.

He stroked my forehead. Most people would think this was an attempt to wake me up, but I know that he knows that I am awake. It was an attempt to make me look at him.

"Katniss, we are going now." he said.

I opened my eyes and rose up to pull him in for a hug.

"I'll miss you." I whispered and he hugged me tighter.

The words came to my own surprise. They were somewhat true. I was going to miss Christian, not Christian and Lissa. Just Christian. Even though I hated his obsession with wealth, business and Lissa, he was still family. The only family that I had left.

"I will miss you too, Katniss." he said as he released the hug and planted a kiss on my forehead. Something he would never do if Lissa was here.

I gave him a rare genuine smile and he walked out of the room.