All You Had to Say

3

It's cool outside despite the sunshine.  Jenna heads down the street to where Gerard and Mikey live, the same bungalow she was drawn to two weeks ago when she first heard their band play. Their parents are away for the weekend. When she told them that her mother was going to be out of town, too, and confessed that she was too afraid to stay at home alone, they insisted that she come over for a movie night.

She takes her time getting there, delighting in the crunch of leaves beneath her feet and the way the crisp breeze teases the ends of her scarf and hair.  Enjoying the scenery as she walks is the best way to ignore how nervous she is about seeing Mikey and meeting the rest of his bandmates for the first time.

    "There you are."  She looks over and sees Mikey sitting on the glider in front of the window.  "Took you long enough."

    "Sorry," she mumbles, her stomach churning.  "You didn't have to wait out here. I should have said I needed to pack a few things."

    "I'm just kidding," he laughs. Mikey reaches out to take her backpack and suddenly some of those knots in her stomach loosen. He directs her to the door, his hand not quite touching the small of her back.  "Come on, everyone's waiting."

    Inside, he steers her through the well-lit living room.  Her first instinct is to veer left to head upstairs, but instead Mikey guides her into the kitchen.

    "Gee's room is down here," he explains, leading her through a door and down the stairs to the basement.  There's a small laundry area and a bathroom to their left, which means Gerard's room is on the right.

    "Wait," Jenna stutters as he goes to turn the knob.  He gives her a puzzled look, so she blurts out, "I'm really nervous.  I just need a minute."

    Mikey smiles down at her.  One of his elegant hands rests on her shoulder, and she feels her heart flutter. His other hand rests on her chin, gently encouraging her to face him.  "It's ok, Jenna.  Don't be nervous.  Gee and I think you're awesome.  Frank and Ray will, too.  We're going to have fun, trust me."

    And then he opens the door.  Gerard's room is pretty spacious.  His bed is tucked into one corner, and another corner is home to his drafting table.  There's a couple of bookshelves crammed with VHS tapes and art supplies and boxes of comics.  Gerard sits on the bed, mashing buttons on a video game controller.  A smaller boy with a nose ring sits alongside him, while another boy with wide brown eyes and a wild head of curly hair sits on the floor with his long legs crossed.  They're all engrossed in whatever video game they're playing.

    "Fucking finally," the small one says, his eyes not leaving the screen.  "We thought you were never coming back."

    "That was my fault since I took forever to get here," Jenna pipes up.

    "You must be Jenna," the one with curly hair says.  He actually takes time to put down his controller and look at her.  His smile is big and bright.  "I'm Ray."

    "Hi, Ray."  She gives a little wave.

    "I'm Frank," the short one smirks.  "It's about time you got here.  Mikey could hardly contain himself."

    "Fuck off, Iero," Mikey says.  The faintest blush colors his cheeks.  Jenna smiles wryly. It's clear that Frank is trying to get a rise out of Mikey, but any implication that Mikey feels something more than friendship for her is definitely welcome.

    Jenna laughs. "So, since I'm finally here — what movie are we going to watch?"

    The boys spend some time deliberating over what movie to put on, finally settling on something called The Evil Dead.  Jenna eyes the cover, unsure of what she's gotten herself into.

    "Don't worry, Jenna.  It's not that bad," Gerard assures her.

    "It's ok.  It's just a movie.  I think I can handle it."

    At first, she doesn't mind.  It's low-budget for sure, and she laughs whenever one of the guys cracks a joke about how hokey it is. She makes a few jokes herself before things quickly get weird. It isn't long before one of the characters, who has been possessed by a demon and quarantined in the cellar, is teasing the other characters.

    Jenna can't help squeezing her eyes closed when the character's gruesome face appears on the tv. She buries her head in Mikey's shoulder and tries to ignore the grotesque wailing sounds the demonic woman makes.  Jenna's surprised Mikey is letting her get so close to him, but figures he must feel sorry for her being so squeamish.  He smells like a bonfire. It's comforting, like everything else about him.  He takes one of her hands in his and squeezes gently.

    "This part will be over soon," he murmurs.  Her heart pounds, but it's not totally because of the movie anymore.

—————

Mikey's heart leaps into his throat when he feels Jenna's head on his shoulder. He feels bad that she's so scared, but he doesn't mind that she's clinging to him for comfort. Having her so near sends his pulse racing, and he wonders if she can feel it, too.

He's not really focused on the movie anymore. He keeps looking down at Jenna to make sure she's alright. Surprisingly, Jenna looks perfectly calm with her hand resting on his chest. Mikey lays a hand over hers and dips his head low to whisper in her ear.

"This part will be over soon."

By the time the movie is over, they are the only two awake.

"How about a palate cleanser?" Mikey asks. Jenna nods. He stands and offers her his hand, helping her step over pizza boxes and plastic cups and their sleeping friends, and they go upstairs.

"Is it ok if we just listen to music or something?" Jenna asks once they reach Mikey's room. She's changed into her pajamas, a Joy Division t-shirt two sizes too big and striped cotton shorts, and Mikey loves that she's this comfortable with him.

"Of course. Whatever you want," he smiles, switching on the lamp that sits on his nightstand. Jenna peruses the CDs that are organized by artist on his shelf.

"What are you going to pick?" Mikey asks from his perch on his bed.

"It's a surprise," Jenna smiles over her shoulder. She removes a CD from its case and inserts it into the CD player. Mikey's not sure what to expect until he hears the distinct opening drum rolls of "Cherub Rock" by Smashing Pumpkins. As she settles in next to him, legs crossed beneath her, Mikey has no doubt this girl is after his own heart.

They stay up late talking, singing, laughing. They end up lying face-to-face atop his duvet as Jenna tells him about her parents' divorce, how her dad cheated and it ruined everything. How her friends froze her out as soon as she told them what happened. It pained him to know that she'd been through so much.

"You'll always have us," Mikey reassures her. He notices the tears threatening to spill out of her blue eyes and draws her into his arms. "No matter what."

"I hope so," she mumbles and burrows into his chest, hugging him ferociously, like she's afraid this isn't real. Mikey wishes she knew just how real it is to him — she's so close that he can hardly stand it, his head swimming in a current of the floral scent that always clings to her. He drags his hand over the small of her back, rubbing gentle, small circles to comfort her. His heart flutters behind his ribs as the final song, "Luna", swells in his ears, urging him to confess. It's a chance I'll have to take.

"Jenna?" His voice is soft, barely there. When she doesn't acknowledge him, Mikey thinks perhaps she didn't hear. He feels her breath, even and slow, and knows she's asleep, nestled in his embrace. He gently extracts her from his arms and switches the lamp off before covering them both with a blanket.

He takes a moment to admire her face, studying her delicately rounded cheeks framed by loose, dark curls. The final lines of the song reverberate in his head as it fades out. I'm in love with you, so in love. He presses the lightest of kisses to her forehead and rolls over, letting sleep claim him.