Telling of Tales

Metanoia - Part I

Author's Note

I was very very upset at the track and yet pleased. Contradictory, well it should be, considering all the conflicting emotions it arouses, anger at Swara, hope for an intense SwaSan track and a spate of beautiful writings.

While I still try to refrain from passing judgement on the individual actions of Swara and Sanskaar which ultimately led to her walking out on him, I am convinced that her act of walking out on him is a little unforgivable. An opinion which seems to be hardening all the more, as we are repeated witness to Swara still being angry with him, she does not even appear to have a tiny flicker of remorse, no memories of them and the beautiful moments they spent together. But what was the proverbial last straw on the camel's back, for me at least, was her absolute trust in Nikhil, her childhood friend whom she has not met for more than ten years while she cannot even summon a fraction of that faith for her friend, lover, husband and soul mate.

I gave up on Swara. The OS was the result of my sadistic ramblings.

I had earlier written an OS which was a little melancholy and had mentioned that I could not write a similar one regarding my OTP. I should have remembered, "Be careful what you wish for, it could come true" Who knew that I would, one day, be writing a modified version of that sorry OS on SwaSan - I never did.

This story is dedicated to Nupur for loving this story and never missing a chance to let me know about it.

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Office of Sargam Academy

September 24, 2075

Swara sat at her desk, in the office where she claimed to gain all her inspiration. In the earlier years, she had forgotten how long ago, she would spend most of her waking hours, which was all the hours in a day and most of the night, at that office, overseeing almost every aspect of Sargam Academy, she had been there when the first foundation stone had been laid, when the first batch of students had passed out, when the first charity concert had been held, at every numerous other concerts organised by her. It was also the place where she had discovered her personal journey, from a singer to a composer-singer par excellence, not her words but the unanimous verdict by the music community. Sargam Academy was her school and home, it was her passion and her penitence. She could never differentiate what exactly motivated her and rather than spend time introspecting her reasons, she simply lived for her music.

The building which had started off as a few rooms now boasted of one gigantic auditorium with great acoustics, three smaller auditoriums, twenty classrooms and an entire floor which served as a museum devoted to musical instruments and the history of music. There were two levels of underground parking to ensure ample space for the live visitors. The top most floor of the Academy, just below the terrace, was mostly devoted to storage, and she was a rather rare visitor to that floor. She had been there when every brick was placed, every coat of paint laid and now, after almost fifty years of being with the Academy, she was confident she knew every physical inch of the building too.

But today, she felt tired, bone weary and could not shake of that feeling of foreboding. She could not reach that source of inspiration; she could not even sing a single note, which was surprising. She had always found solace in music, in her childhood days it had been fun, when she had met and fallen in love with him, it had been an expression of their passion and dreams. Then it had been an escape from her loneliness before becoming her only reason for living. Now, it did not matter anymore; all she knew was that music was an integral part of her life.

She sighed, there would be no use trying to get any work done. She stood up, stretched her slim body, a little proud that despite the ravages of time, she had still the same figure which had so enamoured him. He had loved her elfin figure and would often declare that she was made to be in his arms, she fit so perfectly in them. That also brought tears to her eyes, as she mourned for all the time they had lost, because of her.