Forgiven (Rizzoli and Isles)

Chapter 18

I stayed next to Emily all night. So did Jane. We both fell asleep in the chairs beside the bed.

Sitting here, next to my daughter in this hospital bed has brought me back to reality. The reality is:

I was supposed to get married today.

The seemingly perfect relationship I have with Robert Chaplain is some type of fantasy/fairytale thing. The truth is, it isn't perfect at all. In fact, it isn't even a good relationship. I can't even think for myself.

Jane notices. She notices everything about me. Now, with Rob's term as governor coming to an end, Jane says and does as she pleases in his presence. He can't fire her anymore, so why not?

Emily was right. She once told me that I needed to be in a relationship that will keep me going when life gets rough. Not a relationship that makes my life rough and holds me down to drown in it. She told me that I needed to get on the same page as Jane. She told me that I needed to get back together with Jane because she is my support system. She helps me through the rough spots. From finding out who my birth father was to when I got cancer to when Emily and I fought and I drowned myself in tequila. She's the one I called. Not Rob.

As my reality set in, Emily was waking up.

"Emmy, sweetheart. I'm so glad you're okay! Jane, she's waking up!"

Jane was in the room now.

"The baby..." Emily said. "The baby! Is the baby okay?"

"What baby, Em?" Jane asked.

"The one in the car that I hit. I heard the baby cry."

"Don't worry about the baby, okay?" Jane whispered. "Worry about yourself."

"I'm fine. It's just a little pain. I can handle it."

"Yeah? You can handle this?" Jane said as she poked bruises all down Emily's legs.

"Ow, ma!"

"You said you could handle it. They want to keep you for a week to make sure there is no internal bleed and to pump you full of pain medication until you are, almost pain free without it."

Emily nodded.

"Was the accident my fault?" She asked.

"No, baby." Jane answered almost immediately.

"I'm sorry I ruined your wedding rehearsal, mom."

"You didn't ruin anything. It was another sign from the universe that I'm not meant to marry Rob." I said.

"Are you going to listen to the universe now?" She asked.

I looked at Jane and back to Emily.

"Yes. The universe seems to know more than I do when it comes to my love life."

"The universe just wants to see you and Ma together again. I just want to see you and Ma together again..." Emily said.

I squeezed her hand, forgetting how bruised it was.

"Ow, ow, ow, mama! My hand!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Jane looked at Emily.

"Morphine?" She asked.

Emily nodded.

"Maybe someday, Em. Someday we'll be together again, but first I have to turn her back into the Maura Isles I fell in love with."

"How do you plan to do that?" I asked.

"Recreate our first date. Roller Skating!" Jane said.

"Seriously?" Emily asked.

"Yes. Maura you have to pretend that you've never been roller skating before."

"That shouldn't be to hard. Our first date was the first and last time I went roller skating. I still have no idea how to do it. I clung to you for dear life, remember?"

Jane chuckled.

"Yeah, babe. I remember."

Babe.

Jane turned to Emily.

"She was so afraid she was going to fall. She didn't think I could hold her up and stay balanced on my skates. She almost fell a couple times, but I was there. She never hit the floor."

I shook my head.

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you, Jane. It turned out that I'm the one who couldn't be trusted."

"Well, I still trust you, Maura. So, get over yourself."

I looked at Jane. She met my eyes. She stared at me so long, it seemed as though she was staring into my soul.

"I love you." I mouthed to her.

"I love you too." She mouthed back.

"I can read lips." Emily said. "You two aren't hiding anything anyway. Jane is stripping you in her mind."

"Shut up, Emily." Jane said. "I'm gonna go get a nurse to get you some pain meds."

I stood and kissed Emily's cheek.

"The swelling went way down since last night. You're almost back to your beautiful self."

"Wow, mom. Thanks." Emily said with a laugh.

"You're still beautiful, but that is not my baby's face." I said, peppering her with kisses.

"Mom! My face is bruised!"

"Oh, baby. I'm sorry!"

"You are so lucky you're my mom."

"I am, aren't I? I am very lucky to have you as a Daughter."

"Yeah you are. Mom, I'm really hurting."

"I know sweetie."

"Can you not come see me this week? Until I can come home?"

I didn't know how to respond.

"Um. I...sure. Sure I won't visit. As long as you call me everyday.

-------------------------

"Jane?"

"Hm?"

"I don't have anywhere to go. I was supposed to get married today."

"You'll always have somewhere to go, Maur. You'll always be part of the Rizzoli clan. You could still get married if you want, too."

"No. I don't want to marry him. Can I tell you something?"

"Anything." Jane said.

I took a deep breath.

"I never changed my name." I said.

"What do you mean?" Jane asked.

"I never changed my last name back. Legally, I'm still Dr. Maura Isles-Rizzoli. I still have your last name, Jane."

Jane sighed and smiled.

"Good."

"Good? Why?"

"You'll see tonight."

"What do you mean?"

"You will see, my love. You will see."