365 Twinkling Lights

»○18○«

Today is: 3/24/18

So, what bad things happened today, Max?

I woke up feeling sick. I didn't go to school. I can't feel any emotion right now except sarcasm. I feel like I couldn't care less about anything. It's one of those days where I need more love, but refuse it if I'm given any. It's just one of those lonely days where I feel like I don't matter as much. I feel worthless. I feel stupid. I feel fine. It scares me that I feel okay knowing that I'm not worth anything. That if I died, no one would care, and I'd be okay with it. I'll be fine, I hope.

And what is our happy thought for today?

I listened to this for the whole day today, along with Little Mix:
HAMILTON THE MUSICAL.

This musical was absolutely gorgeous. No, I wasn't able to watch it live. I was, however, able to listen to the whole soundtrack, which is basically the whole musical. Let me tell you all, it makes me feel awesome. Lin-Manuel Miranda has written a wonderful masterpiece that sparks something in people all over the world.

Yes, it has cursing, but the emotion it carries with it is just so overwhelming. The soundtrack is wonderful, too. The story is beautifully heartbreaking, all the while being surprisingly quite accurate.

My favorite person would probably be Eliza. Her ability to forgive her husband after he cheated on her is amazing. She stayed strong after the death of her son and husband. The amount of kindness she has for starting the first private orphanage in New York just strikes me in the heart. (Dunno if that's historically accurate, but I happen to like the idea of someone like that.)

Point is, she had every right to be bitter about her life, and yet chose the way of compassion. That gives hope for us. No matter how hard it may seem, we can still make it better for everyone else. You may be thinking, "For everyone else? What about myself?" I've found out that the best kind of happiness comes from seeing someone else being happy.

Even if you think you're greedy, seeing that you made someone happy will make you crack a smile as well. Doesn't matter how rich or cocky you are, giving happiness to someone else will fill you with joy.

Don't think you're such a bad person. Sure, you may be a dirt bag, but to each our own. Know when you should change your ways. Don't be like Hamilton, only focused on his legacy. Be aware of what you say and do, look around your surroundings. It's not the grandest time to be alive, with all the problems our generation faces, but we have to strive to at least make it better.

"Look around, look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now."

"There's a million things I haven't done, but just you wait, just you wait."

→◎Day 18 complete!◎←