365 Twinkling Lights

»○55○«

Four days ago it was: 4/30/18

So, what bad things happened that day, Max?

Well, I think the first one is pretty obvious: I DIDN'T UPDATE. It's been four days, guys. FOUR. I made this a promise and I'm so sorry that I haven't been keeping my word. So, this was Monday, and if I recall correctly, my science teacher got mad at us for not submitting our projects. Only one group did, and he was angry. I had to repeat my project for the 4th time already because he called it trash. Now, this is just the beginning of my week. My not-even-hell-week-yet hell week. I'll explain in the following chapters that come after this one. Great!

And what was our happy thought for that day?

Gosh, I can't go one day without doing this:
RANTING.

I always rant. Every single day, I have to be angry about something and tell someone. I know it gets annoying, but hey, we can't really help it, right? Now, you may ask, why this? Oh, how I'd love to tell you. Here I go!

That day, Monday, April 30th, 2018: my teacher called my project unattractive. Hah, maybe he took a look at the mirror in the middle of my group's project and saw himself in it. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my science teacher. He's really nice and fun. It's just that, I don't think the word "satisfied" is in his limited vocabulary. Yes, he gave us two weeks. But we were, and are, near hell week! We have exams coming up already in a mere 5 days, excluding today! (Still haven't passed that project by the way!)

I'm not even done with our class's newspaper yet! Then, there's the scout fair which I'm stressing about. Also the scout ceremony that I have to plan with a few "friends" of mine. (You'll find me ranting about them in chapter 58 later)

So many deadlines, so little time. You can clearly see why ranting gives me joy. It lets me blow off a little steam. My suppressed anger can finally be unleashed for the world to see and hear. (In very colorful words, too!) Sadness isn't the only negative emotion, you know? Anger counts as one. I may not be sad all the time, but I am extremely aggressive. However, I'm only angry around people, when I know I can ramble on about something to someone who'll listen.

When I'm alone, I get a little depressed. Tears gather at the corner of my eyes, and I start crying. I'm disappointed with how my day turns out and it bums me out. Those times make me feel like nothing will be okay. That's the main reason why I like ranting. It makes me angry instead of sad.

Anger destroys, don't get me wrong, but you can break things and it'd be an easy to not so easy fix afterwards. On the other hand, when you're sad, you break yourself. That's something that takes time to mend. It could take years to fix how you see the world and yourself, I should know. I was so negative for a short while, and though I'm a bit better now, I still feel that helplessness occasionally.

It's worse for other people, especially those with fragile hearts. Some at least turn bitter, others...lose their lives literally and metaphorically. I don't want that to happen to anyone. I haven't experienced anyone dying from suicide, but I know some people who have tried or even thought about it. I'm no different from them.

Instead of keeping it to yourself, tell someone. You just have to find the right person. Sometimes, even strangers are willing to listen. Don't be afraid to tell people how you feel, because keeping things to yourself doesn't work out all the time. If you need to go rant about something, go for it. Don't make it a public thing, though. It can be a family member, friend, as long as it's someone who's willing to listen and understand.

→◎Day 55 complete!◎←