365 Twinkling Lights

»○29○«

Today is: 4/4/18

So, what bad things happened today, Max?

I've been thinking about my nightmares the whole day. No, I don't mean the one about care bears. Last night, I couldn't sleep well. I kept waking up every 30 minutes, each time after a nightmare. I was afraid, and I guess I didn't realize it until now. I just really wanna cry. There's this cloud of sorrow and fear enveloping me. I'm so tired. My back pain is still there, and I want to rest already. Fear is holding me back from sleeping. What if I have another nightmare?

People always seem to think I'm somewhat fearless, because I speak my mind. I'm brash, and I know it. Respect is something I've earned over the years. Still, not everyone remembers that I'm still human. I still have my fears, I only choose to suck it up and get it over with. There's a small girl inside of me crying for help and comfort, but no one seems to mind.

I'm also very irritable today. I've been snapping at people for at least 12 hours now, and I don't like it. My brother has been a brat tonight, annoying me to no end. It's really one of those nights.

And what is our happy thought for today?

How are you supposed to dance if you don't have:
MUSIC.

I don't exactly have a favorite, but I do prefer something that has a bit of alternative rock. That was before, though. Lately, "emo" songs have been more my forte. Then again, Little Mix isn't considered "emo" is it? (Their songs have been playing on repeat for the past week because of my random playlist, and I've never been more confused about who I am.)

Music just calms me down. It's like poetry, but much more lyrical. Artists like Twenty One Pilots, Panic! At the Disco, and Imagine Dragons have been my consolidations over the past hour.

Hip hop isn't bad either. Hamilton does have more of a hip hop soundtrack. Electro swing makes me wanna fling myself onto a dance floor. Occasionally, when a Spanish song comes up, I kinda salsa my butt off the couch and dance. (That's if no one is around to see me.)

I'm not the type of person to listen to classical music, but if I hear a violin, I tend to give it a shot. I cannot music. It's basically how I can't art, but I think I have a better shot at music. Singing (yelling with really weird and dramatical facial expressions) is really common where I'm from.

Doesn't matter if you're good, bad, or terrible. If you wanna sing, then sing! No one is gonna stop you, but you will get teased, that's inevitable. It's perfectly fine to laugh at your own voice if it isn't "pretty," it's what was given to you.

Music helps me a lot. It takes my mind off things. The feelings of anxiety and despair flee once an upbeat song starts playing. If I start dancing, even better.

If you can't drive your bad thoughts away, just try and force them out through your ears. Drown them out with the sound of your own voice. They aren't the only loud things in this world. When you feel like it's too quiet, make some noise! Don't wait for others to beat you to it. And if they do, join 'em! As long as you're sure you're playing the right tune, you'll be alright.

→◎Day 29 complete!◎←