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Everything was going smoothly, and I guess that was the problem. We had never had a fight. And in the end, that fight destroyed us.

October was a time of utter happiness for me. The weather was perfect. It wasn't too hot but it was just cold enough to need a light sweater.

I guess you could say all those 80's movies played a huge role in my life. From Hocus Pocus to Breakfast Club, they all occurred during the fall season, most likely October. From the moment I saw those movies, I instantly fell in love with the month of October. I would dream about falling in love with a jock and after a football game, we would kiss under the bleachers. Or when I rode my bike home from school, some cute guy I had been flirting with in my 8th period study hall, would ask if he could walk me home.

I tended to get lost in my daydreams a lot and it was hard to bring myself back to reality. That was probably the reason that that boy I had liked since freshman year in my English class, Logan Finley, hadn't asked me out yet. I would often dream up scenarios of what our first date would be like, when and where he would ask me out, and how our relationship would be. In real life, I could barely look at him without my face turning as dark as my favorite burgundy dress. We never spoke but I was hopelessly under his spell. I was so undoubtedly attracted to him and often found myself trying to become more like him.

When senior year came rolling around and it was his last season of football, I took it as my opportunity to finally get him to ask me out.

I showed up to every game and after those games, I waited outside of the boys locker room so when he came out, and he was always last, I could somehow try to talk to him. I know that's sounds stupid but whenever I tried to talk to him in gym class, he was surrounded by his friends or girls fawning over him. This was my only shot of getting somewhat close to him so he would think of me as someone more than a friend. I always thought, however, that he liked me more than that because he would and stills stares at me all the time. Whether that's in the cafeteria, passing in the hall, in class or even during his timeouts in the middle of a football game, he always looked at me.

There is always that question though, maybe he is only looking at me because I have been looking at him this whole time. Why would you look at someone so much if you didn't like them? Why would all of your friends stare at that girl when she passed by them? Why would you, when near that girl, suddenly not be able to speak and turn as white as a ghost? These questions filled my mind everyday as the huge gap between graduation started to shrink.

~

I walked into school on the 28th of October, feeling like something was off. Normally on football game days, I was as hyped as ever and especially considering it was October, I never had any problems or worries.

I made my way towards my locker, and opened it, awaiting the arrival of my rich best friend. Normally, Alyssa and Charlie were late to school because Alyssa thought it was the best idea to stay up until two in the morning on school nights, binge watching Riverdale on Netflix. Every morning she sleeps through her alarm, thus causing her brother to speed to school only to get there just as the bell rings.

Today, however, was different. I shut my locker and turned towards the empty hallways of my high school, the school I would only be a student at for less than a year now, only to see Charlie and Alyssa walking closely together, whispering. When they saw me, Charlie quickly turned away and went up the nearest stairwell while Alyssa made her way over to me, a giant smile on her face as usual.

"Hey, look who is actually on time today!" Alyssa practically screamed in my face with excitement. "I'm impressed. It's a new record!" Alyssa nodded her head as she opened her locker door. As she put her books away, she began to ramble on about our sleepover tonight. I know it seems like nothing special because we have been having them every Friday since we met, but football game Friday nights were different. We would typically order pizza instead of making it and we would only watch comedy movies unlike the romance movies we normally watched on a regular Friday night. It was different, but so much fun.

~

As I carried on through the day, that feeling of uneasiness kept making its way back into my mind. I pushed it off as I had been since I woke up, but now it was starting to bother my stomach. I walked up to the desk of my third period English teacher and asked him if I could go see the nurse as my stomach was not feeling well. All that got me was a look of disgust and a volunteer from the class to come with me to make sure I didn't throw up on the way.

I specifically waited for this class to go to the nurse because even if the teacher didn't ask for a volunteer, I was going to have Charlie come with me either way.

As we walked the halls quietly, our arms brushing against each other every now and then, I felt completely comfortable in the silence. I did break the silence eventually when I felt a pair of eyes on me.

"So, are you nervous about tonight, Mr. QB?" I gently nudged Charlie's shoulder and looked up at him, out height difference becoming very clear. "Nah, not really. I'm just nervous for afterwards." My interest piqued and I met eyes with him, not letting his hazel iris' leave my sight. "What's afterwards?" Charlie looked down to his feet, his tell when he was lying, as we rounded the corner to the nurses' office. "Oh, just a party." I opened my mouth to say more but we had reached the nurses' office. I looked at the door and when I turned back towards Charlie, he was already heading back in the direction of class but not before speaking one last time. "I hope you feel better." As the last word rolled off his tongue, he rounded the corner and disappeared.