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17

I sat up, out of breath with tears streaming down my face. I couldn't keep doing this. Alyssa's funeral was in three hours and every time I closed my eyes, I woke up with night terrors again. I couldn't sleep without the comfort of being in Charlie's arms but at the same time, as soon as I closed my eyes, I would see Alyssa's motionless body covered in blood in front of my house and wake up unable to breathe.

Charlie immediately sat up next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into him. I tried to take a deep breath, instantly smelling peppermint and coffee and I began to relax. I knew I was just having the same bad dream over and over again, but when I woke up, I realized it was real. My best friend was dead.

"I'm sorry for waking you up again. I can't close my eyes without seeing her." I buried my face into his shoulder as I tried to take deep breaths but each time I did, they came out shaky. "It's okay." I began to finally calm my breathing as Charlie stroked my hair. Within a few minutes, he was back asleep and I stayed up just as I had done the day before. I wanted Charlie to sleep.

It was around 7 a.m. when Charlie woke up. I hadn't slept but I was happy Charlie did. We left the kitchen and headed upstairs only to see Charlie's parents standing in front of Alyssa's room. Her door was open and they were just staring into it with tears flowing from both of their faces.

Charlie and I decided to leave them in peace as we headed to his room. When we got there, I realized I had nothing to wear for the funeral. I wasn't about to borrow something from Alyssa's room so I told Charlie I would go get an outfit at my house. I knew I wasn't allowed to go anywhere near the front of my house, but that didn't mean I couldn't go in through my back door.

I made my way into my house from the back entrance but as I did, I couldn't help but get this weird feeling. This house wasn't the same place to me anymore. My best friend died here.

I brushed away the terrible feeling I had inside me as I made my way into my room. I went straight for my closet to look for a black dress. I immediately found one that would be perfect for such a tragic occasion. It was a black sweater dress that was long sleeved and came down to about my knees. I bent down in front of my closet, looking for a pair of black pumps when I felt something hard under my leg. I moved my leg to see a watch laying in my carpet. I had never seen that watch before so I wondered how it ended up in my room, but more importantly, whose was it?

I left the watch laying there as I knew I didn't have time for this right now. I would come back when the funeral was over to deal with this mystery.

I returned to Charlie's house a little while later to find him in a suit. I tried to not let my feelings come into play as this was not about how hot he looked in that suit, but of course being a teenager with hormones, I couldn't help it.

We were the first to arrive at the funeral home. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to go in there. I knew where Alyssa would be and I didn't want to see it.

No matter whose funeral it was that I had to go to ever since I was little, I always dreaded this part. The wake. I hated to stand there for hours as people said their goodbyes and prayers to the person who had died. It made me sick to my stomach.

I stopped right before the doors. I knew I was going to have to go in there, but I wasn't sure if I should with Charlie and his parents. When Alyssa died, we weren't best friends anymore. They probably didn't want me there when they got to see her in the casket for the first time.

Charlie turned towards me and so did his parents as they realized I had stopped. "What are you doing?" I looked to all three of them with a frown on my face. "You three should go in there and I'll come in when everyone else arrives. It's should just be family first." They looked to each other, knowing exactly what I had meant. Charlie's parents knew about our fight and they knew I didn't want to overstep my boundaries.

However, I wasn't expecting what came next. Charlie stepped closer to me and I suddenly felt extremely short, even in my 3 inch heels. "You're family AJ. You always have been." I looked to his parents and they nodded their heads.

Even after having not been friends with their daughter for the last three weeks of her life, I was still considered family. A small smile came to my face as I looked to the three people who I had known for almost my whole life. Even in sadness, they were the kindest people I had ever met.

Before I could reply, I felt a sense of warmth flow through my left hand. I looked down to see Charlie's hand grasping mine. I let out the breath of air I didn't realize I was holding and squeezed his hand.

I didn't want to do this but I knew I had to. With Charlie by my side, we walked through the doors behind his parents and headed for Alyssa's casket.