stardust | ✔

xliii.

'CRAVING & LONGING'

longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing. longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing.

longing,
for something real,
something that breathes like...not me, something that is still...alive...
i long.

i'll wait if i need to.
but this feeling,
it can never disappear.
this desire, this longing.
no matter how long i'll wait...

i need to feel something
other then dust, ash, cold.
i feel like i've become stone.

dead flesh, hanging around my bones. which crack, break are turning into powdered death.

i don't know what this destruction is.
but it has...
taken over my mind.
and all that i can do is wait.
with this excruciating pain. wait...

and wait, while long...

longing, longin--

longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, crave, longing, longing, longing, crave longing, longing, longing, longing, crave, crave, crave, crave, crave, crave, crave, crave, longing, longing, longing, longing, longing, crave, crave, crave, crave, longing, longing, longing, crave...

CRAVING,
CRAVING,
CRAVI
CRA
CR
CRAVIN

I CAN'T
PLEASE
PLEASE
PLEASE

I CAN'T...
THESE VOICES
THEY

they tear and rip me apart,
limb by limb,
i'm falling.
i'm being held by my throat
and i can no longer control
these urges that are welling up

and i need...

I

C

A

N

'

T

I CRAVE
THE END.

MORE AND MORE
AND MORE.
I CAN FEEL
THE DARK
CLOSING IN
ON ME,
I CRAVE...CRAVING

I NEED AN ENDING.
I NEED IT TO STOP.
ALL OF IT.
ALL OF IT.
STOP. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE LET ME GO.
I HAVE SUFFERED ENOUGH. LET ME GO.
I DON'T WANT THESE DISTORTED
SOUNDS,

REMINDING
ME
OF
WHO
I
AM.

THE END I NEED I NEED I NEED AND NEED AND NEED 

I NEED HELP MY MIND WON'T SHUT UP. CLOSING--

longing, longing,
longing,
longing, longing,
longing to live,
to feel worth it...
to feel alive. longing,
longing, longing,
longing, longing...

craving,
craving,
craving,
craving,
craving,

longing,
longing, longing,
longing, longing,
longing...

IN GRAVE DANGER AHEAD.
I CAN FEEL
IT PULLING
AND TUGGING.

W H E R E H A S M Y H E A R T
G O N E?

craving for death and wanting the end,

longing to live...to feel...

☆

dedicated to dariamorgondoffer , for being a constant inspiration.

i kinda cured my writers block by drawing. i dunno if you're able to read the text on the picture (the one below this paragraph of rambling) (my handwriting is really bad, but i did this type of handwriting on purpose SO IT ISNT THAT BAD..)as you might notice, it was pretty hard translating the shit on here. since the words are all over. dunno if you want an explanation of what this all means, you can ask and then i'll just do a special chapter of explaining the drawing and the words with it.

(i had to filter it because you couldn't see the color as much on the picture as you can in irl. so i promise you that this filter is closer to the real life thing then what the picture got.)