ix.

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'ANXIETY'

knots, knots, knots.
tight. tighter. even tighter.
and i can't seem to be able to breath.
blink away the tears,

dear, they won't help today.

nor would they ever.



knots, knots, knots.
a jumble of feelings tying
and tightening in my stomach.
cutting off the air,
that should flow through my lungs.



tight. tighter. even tighter.
and no matter what i do,
the heavy weight doesn't lift.
it drags me down,
to the dark abyss, that is my own mind.

a destructive force of energy
that shocks through me as i try to breath.

again and again and again, i gasp for air.

pushing myself against
the cool wall of the bathroom
and i shut my eyes,
the warm tears stream down
my cold face and i taste salt.

but shutting my eyes,
won't disguise the small cries
coming instinctively out of me.

and as i scream and yell,
not today, at my own head.

a knock, which breaks
the trance i had been in.

i stand up,
i wipe them away
and there it comes,
the plastic smile
replacing my feelings.
for the rest of the day.


















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