Dreamer

Chapter Six

Tia's POV (One Month Later)

I was sitting in Shawn's dressing room, waiting for sound check to be over. I didn't like being in sound check, the microphone sometimes makes this loud interfering noise. The door swung open, and I looked up from my phone. It was a distraught crewman. "Are you Tia?" He asked, breathless. "Uh, yeah. Why?" I asked, confused. "Sh-Sha-Shawn needs you... now... he's..." He pants. "Anxiety attack?" I ask, getting up. I slip my phone in my back pocket, and walk over to the mini fridge to grab a water bottle out of it. The guy nods, and he leads me straight to Shawn. Shawn was on the floor, his eyes unfocused and he was panting. No, hyperventilating. He was having a full on anxiety attack. I knelt down in front of him, dropping the water bottle beside me before placing my hands gently on his face. "Shawn... Shawn look at me..." I command, but I did so gently. Our eyes connect, and I smiled gently at him. "It's okay, it's okay, breathe with me okay?" I say, taking a deep breath in, and then slowly letting it out. He didn't listen, and so I had an idea. "Shawn, I'm gonna look away for a second, okay?" I ask, and Shawn slowly nods. I look away, and find a wall about three feet away. "I found a wall, can you stand?" I ask gently, and Shawn nods. I slowly stand, and Shawn does too. He falls foreword, and I have to support him. He's rather heavy, so it's hard. I lower him back to the ground. Someone drags an amp over to us, and I lean against it. Someone else helps move Shawn into a sitting position with his back to me. I thank the two people, and hold Shawn gently to me. "Shawn, do you feel that?" I ask, taking a deep breath, then letting it out. Shawn weakly nods. "Breathe with me, Shawn. Close your eyes and do what you feel me doing." I say gently, slipping my hands into Shawn's hands before I take a deep breath in. Shawn does as I ask, and then we both slowly breathe out. Slow deep breath in, slow deep breath out. Slow deep breathe in, slow deep breath out. I feel Shawn gripping my hands, struggling to keep the pattern. I rub small circles with my thumbs on his hands. I give up on that, and remember another technique. "Shawn, name three things you can see." I command gently. "A guitar being played..." He pants, "...People walking around..." He pants, "...and you holding my hands..." he struggles out, and I nod. " Good job, Shawn. What are two things you can hear?" I ask him, "A water bottle crackling... and your heartbeat..." Shawn pants, and I smile. "Name one thing you can feel." I tell him, and he completely relaxed. "Your chest vibrating when you speak." He says, obviously out of breath, but no longer panicking. I motion for someone to hand me the water bottle I brought in, and a man with a headset does. I mouth a thank you after I slip my hand out of Shawn's and take it. I open the bottle one handed, and hand it to a breathless Shawn. He gulps down half of the bottle, and then places it on the floor. "Feeling better?" I ask gently, using my free hand to rub his back. This probably looked weird. A 5' girl leaning against an amp with a 6'2" guy leaning against her while she was rubbing his back. Shawn nods, his breathing normal now. A tall man with glasses walks over to us, impatiently taping his foot. "Shawn, you need to get this..." Andrew starts, but I cut him off. I was not about to let Shawn have another attack. "Mr. Andrew, could I speak to you real quick? Before you talk to Shawn." I say, not giving him a choice before I carefully got out from behind Shawn and walk away with Andrew following me. "You can't shame someone for anxiety. Especially right after an attack. It isn't something they can help, and you could send them into one. Shawn is insanely nervous, and that's why we always have an extra thirty minutes before he's actually going on stage just in case Shawn has an attack." I tell Andrew, and he glares at me. "Don't tell me how to handle my client." And I cross my arms, " Would you like to explain to the Queen of England as to why her birthday performance is being delayed because his manager didn't like the fact he had anxiety?" I ask, tilting my head. "Fine. How did you get his attack under control?" Andrew asks, and I straighten up. "It's called grounding. When someone is having an attack they're spacey and can't breath. Asking them three things they can see helps some with them becoming aware of their surroundings again. Asking them for two things they can hear helps them focus, which in turn helps with their breathing. Asking them one thing they can feel completely brings them back to reality and calms their breathing. If it doesn't work the first time, do it one more time. It always works in three different tries." I explain, putting my hands on my hips. Andrew nods, running his hands through his hair. "Shawn may sometimes need you to remind him that even though he's always busy and ushered around, and not everyone is nice, that he is still appreciated and loved. There's little things you need to watch and pick up on." I tell him, almost sounding like a mother trying to make sure her son is cared for properly. "What are the things I need to look for?" Andrew asks, pulling his phone out. "First, look at his body language. That's going to be your first sign. If he seems slowly and hesitant, something is going on. He's upset. Second, watch his smiles. If they look forced you need to check on Shawn. Third, you need to watch his eating habits. If he's nervous Shawn might eat too much or he might not eat enough. Make sure he's eating healthy. Fourth, watch to see if he's flushed and having difficulty breathing. That could be a sign he's about to have an attack, or he's getting over one. Lastly, watch to see if he's relying on meet and greets a good bit. That could be a sign he's run down or feels unappreciated." I finish, rubbing the back of my neck. "Did you get all of that?" I ask, tilting my head. "Body language, smiles, eating habits, flushing and trouble breathing, and relying on meet and greets. Anything else?" Andrew asks, and I shake my head no. "Now, lets go check on Shawn." I suggest, but Andrew puts a hand up. "What's your obsession with Shawn?" He asks me, and I cock my eyebrow and tilt my head while putting my hand on my hip. "I don't have an obsession with Shawn." I tell him, and Andrew shakes his head, laughing. "You're tagging along everywhere with him. You live with him. That back there, you knew how to calm him down when nobody else did. You know exactly what he needs, and figure it out before anyone can, without him telling you. Just now, with you telling me to watch out for him with these signs. Defending him because of his anxiety. There's something there, something neither of you see." Andrew rants, folding his arms. "I do care for Shawn a good bit, but only as a friend. Shawn took me in during my time of need, and because of that I'm indebted to him. I do these things to show my appreciation and because I care." I explain, and Andrew just shakes his head. We walk back over to Shawn, and I'm suddenly pulled away by stage crew. A lady hands me black lacy flats, and a black dress that fits me snuggly and reaches my knees. She tells me to quickly change, and that she would be back in five minutes. I do as I'm told, and fold my clothes and place them with my things. I then pulled my exercise shorts from my bag. Then she comes back in, making me sit in a chair. My short hair is brushed out and straightened while someone else is doing natural make up on me. Then I'm ushered over to the stage. Shawn was on stage, smiling and talking to fans. When he sees me a stage crew person is handing me a microphone, and I'm being ushered on stage. "I don't think I'm supposed to be..." I start, then realize my microphone was already on. "Would now be a bad time to mention I have stage fright...?" I say quietly, standing off to the side, but still visible to everyone. The crowd looks at me, and I just stand there. Shawn smiles at me, walking over and grabbing my arm. Shawn tries to pull me further out, but I drop down, trying to pull away. "Tia, come on!" Shawn begs, and I start shaking my head. "No, no, no, no, nope!" I say, trying to pull away, panic rising as he says my name. Now they know me! They can track me now! Seeing as Shawn is strong, I still end up in the middle of the stage. Everyone was staring. Shawn looks at me with pleading eyes, and I give in. Fear was still consuming me. I slowly stand up, shaking. He smiles at me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. Great, now they'll think we're together. "Everyone, this is Tia! She's my best friend, and she's going to be singing Camila's part in 'I Know What You Did Last Summer!'" I whirl around, looking at Shawn. "Shawn, I can't sing!" I squeak, and Shawn chuckles. "I've heard you sing that song a million times without the music, both parts, and you can definitely sing." Shawn says, and I just stare at him in fear. Shawn looks away, signaling the band to start playing.