Shawn Mendes One-Shots

In My Blood

A/N: Hey there! guess who's not dead yet? Haha jk. Anyways! Just wanted to say thank you so so much for the 8k reads/views! That really means a lot to me guys.

Consider this update as a gift for all you beautiful readers out there for reaching 8k. I know it might not be that much of an achievement to others but hey, I am so grateful nonetheless.

This imagine is inspired by Shawn's amazing song "In My Blood" (obviously) (kind of late but when am I not late? haha. BUT I heard it the day it was released though)

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT hate Hailey Baldwin at all. I just need an antagonist for the story.

I'll shut up now. Enjoy the story! - Tiffani x

Word count: 5,886

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Shawn's POV

Tired.

I'm tired of my own mind filling me up with emotions that I shouldn't be feeling. I'm tired of the constant worrying of how people are going to accept me for who I truly am as a person and as an artist. I'm tired of feeling anxious about the choices I'm going to make. I'm tired of feeling overwhelmed with the pressure my family, my friends and my fans are giving me. I am so tired of everything. And sometimes I feel like I'm tired of living.

I sat on the floor of my hotel room, staring straight at nothing. Is it possible for a person to feel so many emotions all at once but feel numb at the same time? Because at the moment, my heart is breaking into pieces but my brain is just blank, empty and dark.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and reached for my phone. I quickly dialled her number and waited. I really need her right now.

My heartbeat grew faster every time her phone rings. I was about to hang up and call her again when she finally picked up.

"Hey there."

I heaved a huge sigh of relief as I finally heard her voice.

"Hi." I answered as I tried to keep my tears from falling. She knows me too well, and she will definitely know if I am not okay.

"What made you call Shawn?" I sighed. "Nothing, just really needed to hear your voice."

"Shawn?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" I sighed. Hiding something from her is nearly impossible to do. She can see right through me like I am transparent in some way. She knows me too well like the back of her hand, and she will definitely know, even if I try my hardest, she will still know that I am lying.

"Yeah, I just miss you, that's all." I lied.

"I know your lying Shawn, please tell me what's bothering you." I closed my eyes as I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "Shawn?" She asked again. I tried to fight my tears but still ended up losing. She deeply sighed. "Shawn, what's wrong?" She asked, concern and worry etched on her voice, making me cry even more.

"I'm fine, I just–" My voice broke as I tried to explain to her why I'm acting this way. She stayed quiet, silently urging me to continue.

"I'm so worked up with everything. I'm getting all wrapped up with all this emotions and I can't take it anymore. I'm getting so tired of the pressure that this career is giving me. I'm constantly thinking carefully about everything I do just so I can't disappoint anyone. I'm scared of being myself because what if no one will like me? What if my fans are seeing me as a different person? What if I disappoint everyone who looks up to me? The expectations are so high and I don't know if I can live with myself if I don't live up with those expectations. I'm so tired of feeling so insecure. I'm so scared of not being enough. I'm just all over the place. I can't even explain everything to you properly. I just– I can't take it anymore (Y/N). My mind is consuming me slowly." I sobbed as I tried to tell her my feelings. She sighed on the other side of the line.