As long as you can (Cherik)

9. Chapter

I realized that we sat there long when it got slowly dark outside.
"Should we go downstairs, it's getting dark and I am hungry" he said standing up helping me out of the hammock. "Yeah. I don't have much in the fridge. We could go to the store and buy some stuff for the next few days" he nodded and we went downstairs. It was still messy everywhere and I was ashamed of my bad presentation. He was walking in front of me always checking if I was alright. I wasn't but I didn't want to show him. We went to the kitchen to look for some bags and to see what we still had. It really wasn't much because before I got my diagonese I was to busy to get food. I ordered if I was really hungry but that didn't happen to often. Working was everything I needed.
After we got the bags we went to his car. I loved that car it was an old brown car but it wasn't ugly-old it was a beautiful unique car that was perfect for him. I never thought about it when I first drove with him but it fit perfectly for him. He opened the door for me and helped me in even though I got have done that on my own. But I didn't protest. He was kind and I had to learn that I needed to accept that. The other man got in the car and started smiling. He turned the radio on and started driving. After 20 minutes of driving through the dark evening he realised that he wasn't even able to find the shop. "Ehmm, Charles, where do I have to go? I don't know where we are. I am bad at orientation" he scratched his head smiling at me. "Ok good question" I said chuckling. "I can't see anything. I am kind of night-blind" I never went out in the dark. I wasn't able to see anything. "Ok, where are we right now? Is there a street name or something like that, maybe I know where we are when you tell me" I was panicking a little cause the darkness wasn't my friend at all but Erik stayed calm. He took my hand and said we where in a lonely country road. "Do you remember how you got here? Did you memories anything?" I said with fear in my voice. "Not really, I wasn't paying any attention. Ok but Charles, you need to calm down" I know he was looking at me  but I couldn't see his beautiful eyes. "Do you have any light in the car" I asked hoping he would say yes. "No it's very old. Im sorry, Charles" Erik squeezed my hand while saying it. "Ok, what should we do now. You don't know where we are I probably do but I can't see anything. We're both hungry. Should we just stay here the entire night or should we start driving again?" I said that while squeezing my eyes closed knowing the pain I was in would be worst in a few minutes. "I don't know. I don't want to risk driving to far from your house. Should we just stay here?"
"Yes, but I am afraid and the pain is getting worst. Can we lay down on the backseat? Wait what time is it?" I asked him.
"It's almost ten PM. But Charles, you don't have to be afraid. I am with you an I'll protect you, alright?" "Alright" I said not believing myself. But he sounded serious. "Ok, lets go to the backseat. I'll probably have a blanket in the trunk. It will be fine Charles. Relax and enjoy the adventure". I had to smile because it sounded weird how he said it. But I was thankful for him caring so much.
He got out of the car went to my side and opened the door helping me again. Then we opened the backdoor and we got into the car. "Thank you, Erik" i mumbeld. "You're welcome, Charles. Don't be afraid. I locked the car and we're on the side of the street. We are just trying to sleep" he took my hand again, like he always did. I felt safe in his arms and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. "Erik? Can I ask you something?"
"You already did, but go ahead".
"Were you, ehmm... Always gay?" I asked with embarrassment. I wasn't sure if he was but I kind of wished for it. I liked him more than I should have. But he acted like he cared about me more than he should have.
"Well, you know. It's complicated. But I guess. But I dated girls before because I was embarrassed. My grandparents never liked gay people so I never came out to them. But after they passed away I  was able express myself. Why?" He asked squeezing my hand. "Well, no one would care for someone like this without having feelings for that person, right? I don't mind it. Actually, I love it. It's so good to have you and I enjoy every second with you. So I just wanted to be sure". I didn't even know where all these words came from but I have to admit it was the truth. "I guess you right" said the silhouette next to me. "I like... Love being with you. I am glad that I found you. You know, I think you are not the only one that needs someone. I need someone as well and I think I found the right person. Charles, even though this journey might be painful and not as long as we hope for, I know that I want to spend every second of it with you. I never felt this weird feeling before, but I don't mind it actually. If you think I am just here because of pity that might be true because at first I felt like you just needed me and I wanted to help you. But now I know better. I know that I need you as well and I want to be with you" he turned to me and I knew that he rested his eyes on me.
I didn't quite know what to answer to that so I just smiled hoping he would see it. And I guess he did because he leaned in and gave me a small kiss on the forehead. "Charles, I think I am in love with you... Is that alright?" He said taking his lips away. "Well, I basically asked you if you have feelings for me. I guess it is. I don't really know how it feels to be in love with someone because I never experienced it in my 25 years. But it feels good and different from everything else" now I tried to lean in and give him a kiss as well but I didn't have the strength for getting up. I felt how he put his hands behind my back and pulled me up so I could kiss him. And I did. On his beautiful soft lips. It was a good first kiss. After that he turned on the radio again and played some calm piano music. I fell asleep on him and never let go of his hand. It was good even though it was dark and cold and I was in pain. But I'll never forget about the feeling of his soft lips. I bet he is using some kind of lip balm.