The Beautiful Motto of Whatever [Normila]

Chapter 10

Camila's P.O.V:

As stupid as it sounds I wear the snapback everyday now, I always have it on me if its not on my head. Dan swears that I will have permanent hat hair for the rest of my life if I continue but I could care less, not like I style my hair anyway. Things between Normani and I haven't gotten worse since that night, but they haven't gotten better either. It's basically stayed the same, like a lake when something causes a ripple it eventually goes back to its calm state. That caused a ripple in Normani and I's situation but now we are back to square one and I'm just waiting it out now. No more plans, no more attempts to try to talk it out, those haven't gotten me anywhere. If it's meant to be it will happen, pressuring things only make hings worse and what I found is that I also needed time to find myself. At least this is what I've been telling myself to keep patient. 

Today's the day of the big video shoot for Arin's new single called Classic (Classic by MKTO) and it's been really interesting on set so far. The video concept is cool and the costumes are unique, the video is sure to be a hit. Arin choose Normani to be the front woman in the video and despite my insides churning every time I see them near each other, I do a good job of plastering a fake smile to my face and ignoring them. In the three days that have passed since that night in my room I've improved and now I merely shrug when Arin throws gloating looks my way even though I kind of want to punch him in the gut when he does. He apologized to me the following day and he did seem sincere, but that doesn't mean I have to like the kid.

 Normani's P.O.V: 

"Wait we have to kiss?!" I don't know how I feel about this, I look at Arin who sends me a nervous smile, dimple included. Instead of reassuring me is leaves me with a queasy feeling, I send him back a false small smile before paying my attention back to the Director.

"Yea, my team thought it would enhance the video. You know the guy gets the girl by the end and earns a sweet kiss" he exclaims excitingly and I strain while trying to hold a pleasant expression. 

"You don't have to if don't want to..." Arin says directly to me lightly ignoring the Directors incredulous looks. He really isn't a bad guy and I want to kiss him anyway, don't I?

"I'll do it" I say simply and a expression of relief washes over the directors face and Arin beams at me, I found it a bit easier to smile back this time. Maybe once I kiss him all these confusing feelings will disappear and life could be a little easier again. Or get worse...

"Thank goodness cause we already wrote it into the storyboard,  well that's it, you two go get dressed while I go brief everyone else." He starts talking to someone else through his mic furiously marking something on his clipboard, we both watch him walk off both chuckling to ourselves.  

"Thanks Moni, you just made dealing with him three times easier" he laughs and I nod back I  response.

"I can tell, its going to be an interesting process filming for sure" we both chuckle before falling into a awkward silence once again, looking at each other for a second every time our eyes land on each other's.  "Well... I'm gonna go get ready now" I say trying to break the unsettling silence upon us, he nods vigorously and I laugh silently, I keep reminding myself that he's not the guy he once was that he's changed. That we're good for each other,  but my heart keeps telling me otherwise.  

"Yea, I ought too as well... well see ya out there" he says before wrapping me in an uncomfortable hug, I rub his back counting the seconds till he lets go. He walks off smiling and I let out a breathe I didn't realize I was holding. I just got to get through today... and every day after that.

"And cut! You guys are doing great lets just run that scene one more time, Arin remember to pronounce those words, enunciate!" The director shouts as I watch from the side lines with the other girls. It's actually been a nice day so far, the video is pretty creative and fun so it makes sense that the director is a little eccentric.  Each scene is set in a different era so I have a different costume to match and I've even got a few opportunities to dance and say a few lines of dialogue for the intro scene.  The girls are playing my close friends in some of the scenes, helping me get ready for a date or talking to me about the main character,  Arin. After Arin finishes this scene we only have the ending scene left, which includes the kiss. I play with my nails fidgeting,  I have to kiss him in front of everyone Including the girls. I push the thoughts away as I see Camila leave the group of her and the girls and a few of the extras on set and head my way. I fix my skirt and tuck my hair behind my ear the closer she gets feeling nervous. 

"Hey Normani" she's smiling but she looks exhausted, her smile a bit dimmer than usual. I instantly feel a pang in my heart at thought that I may be the one whose caused it. I've been so hard on her so I can avoid her pull on me, I get so easily lost when I'm near her so the more distance the better. 

"Camila" I say in response, the lifelessness in my voice surprising myself,  glad to see those acting lessons are being put good use. She frowns slightly but for the most part seems unfazed,  looks like she's starting to get use to this. I know this is hurting her but its for the best. Our careers are just starting,  we can't do anything to jeopardize that no matter what we feel. Now matter what I might feel, I miss her though, regardless. 

"I know... its just hard sometimes, but I know" she catches me by surprise at this, my expression faltering as I look at her questioningly. "I'm your friend first and I miss you... sometimes I wish I never told you so I could at least be near you, you know" I look down and play with my nails chipping the paint off. "But I don't regret it, I'd do it a hundred times over. Enough about that though, I just wanted to let you know you're doing great... and you look absolutely beautiful" she says with a small smile and I can't help but smile back, I really needed that. I stand up and fix her bow on her head that's managed to fall off to the side.

"Your bow is always managing to mess up or fall off" we both lightly laugh at that. I lower my hands and truly look at her for the first time since we were on the dance floor. "And thanks" I whisper, the air suddenly tense. Everything starts to fade away and I feel that familiar sense of tugging at my heart, the look in her eyes mesmerizing me. I see her eyes shifting from my own to my lips seemingly lost between the two and I feel helpless. I give in to my desires as she leans forward and I hold my breathe, frozen in place. Unexpectedly she goes to the right, her breathe is warm against my cheek as she wraps her arms around me to pull me into a hug while I stay unresponsive.

"God Mani, I miss hearing you laugh everyday, I really do" her voice is so low and raspy, she plants a small kiss on my cheek before wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me into a tight embrace. I squeeze back feeling as if the second I loosen my grip I'll lose her forever. Opening my eyes I see Arin and he's looking straight at me, expression unreadable and its like ice water to my senses. I quickly pull away, leaving Camila in surprise and walk to go get ready for the ending scene without a word.

"Mani!" I can't help but stop to turn around. "I promise" I almost break down as I look and see Arin still watching us intently, my eyes flickering between the two of them. 

"I know" is all I can manage to say before I head to the dressing area to get into my last costume. I cant keep stringing her along, the time is coming where I'll have to let her go. Our futures, our careers, and this group's future need us to be apart and i wont risk all of that.