Kylie's POV
"You confuse me more than anyone!" I stop walking and look at him. I really look at him for the first time today. He looks restless and sad.
"That's because I'm confused, Kylie." His words graze my heart. I'm supposed to be mad at him, but my heart is telling me to hug him and make him feel better. "All I want is what's best for you! I don't want these fucked up things to keep happening to you because of me!"
"It doesn't matter what happens to me as long as you're by my side!" My heart speaks at a million miles a minute while my mind can't comprehend what the hell is going on. I feel the hot tears rolling down my face, which causes brads stance to change. He had such a hard exterior a minute ago and now his stance is so damaged and fragile. It looks as if his shoulders are too heavy for him to keep up. "I could deal with the pain of everything else. You know what I couldn't deal with? The pain of you walking away. You promised me you wouldn't do this! I broke my walls down for you!" I poke my finger into his chest, softly, but hard enough to get my point across.
"I.." He stutters.
"Yeah.. me too.." I reply to his loss of words. I have nothing else to say so I begin walking away. I can't tell if I'm still mad at him or not. Like I'm at this comfortably numb place with him, but only with him. I am starting to break down internally. I can feel it. I feel myself slowly letting the darkness creep in and I can't do anything about it because the only time it goes away is when I'm with brad.
"Can we just do lunch?" He shouts from behind me. I want so badly to say no, but I know I'll regret if I do.
"Let's go." I turn and wait for him to catch up to me. "But I refuse to fight in front of anyone." I say before continuing on.
"I'm not going to fight with you. But you're keeping my jumper on" He says to me and I can't tell if he's joking or not. When he begins walking with his hand on my back, leading me in front of him, I can tell he's not joking.
"You're ridiculous" I laugh at him.
"Ridiculously attracted to you and if you don't keep this hoodie on, I'll try to take you in one of these classrooms. So please, let's avoid that scenario." He whispers in my ear, "for now." It sends chills down my body.
"Yup" I shake my head up and down, "Yes. Okay." His words embarrass me and cause me to lose my breath.
"Heyyy, there are the love birds. We thought we'd lost you for the day." Tris jokes while we walk into the cafeteria. Bri doesn't look amused.
"Nope. Not that easy." I smile and pull away from brads hand. He wants to be friends? I'll do that for him. If this is what he needs, I can do that.
"Do you want me to go get you lunch?" He mumbles from behind me. And sits our bags down. I didn't even realize I had sat my bag down or that he'd taken it from me.
"Yeah, do you want help?" I ask.
"No. It should be okay. I'll call for you if I do." He smiles and walks over to the cart marked "pizza." I missed his smile.
"Why are you in his jacket?" Bri scream whispers at me.
"He.. he didn't like my outfit." Bri's eyes get wide and Tris laughs out loud. "Guys, quit" I giggle along with them.
"Only Bradley bear" Tris laughs. I really miss hearing brads mom call him that.
"He's really confusing." I admit to them, covering my face to hide the pain that's written across it.
"Just remember, he didn't break up with you because he fell out of love with you. He still loves you more than anything. He broke up with you to see if it would make things easier on you. This is hard for him too. He just wants to test it out." He takes a bite of pizza then looks back at me, "You're still all he talks about. It's quite annoying actually." He laughs, "But it's different than he's ever been with anyone else, so I don't mind." His words open my eyes in a sense. When someone breaks up with you, you obviously feel as though all the love that you once had is gone. You think that they want nothing to do with you and that you should just leave them alone. That's exactly what I did. I thought he gave up on me. I thought he stopped loving me. I never once thought about the fact that he could have been trying to protect me from this. My mind automatically was selfish and wanted him as mine, when the truth is, he still is, and I am still his. I didn't ever think about his feelings. "He doesn't want to be apart from you either, Kye." He mumbles out quickly as brad made his way back to the table.
YOU ARE READING
Choices | BWS
Fanfiction"Why did this have to happen. Why did I have to look into those big, beautiful, brown eyes. Why did I have to fall so hard in love with him? I told myself not to! I told myself over and over again that this is what would happen!"
