[ t o m o r r o w ] l.h

III

234 Days until

The rain from last night had become exponentially harder and more aggressive, the tree outside my window had been smacking on the glass all night making me think that I was going to be kidnapped, but there I was - lying in bed with my phone in hand. Gabi had been texting me all morning about how excited she was for me to come and meet Michael's band, Michael and I had interacted a handful of times but I didn't think I made an impression on him. She was overly excited about getting ready together and how she would do my makeup, dress me up, do my hair and make me a mini her - I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited just to see her excited and actually see a band perform in real life; it would take a miracle for her to be done herself to have enough time to even start on me, I didn't really like makeup anyways.

I laid in bed until seven o'clock since I only woke up an hour ago, doing a few of my school obligations like my maths, which had made me quit early in frustration since I simply couldn't do it. I rolled from underneath my sheets to shuffle into my bathroom, taking all nine of my morning pills that were okay to mix and filling up a cup of water that was a little warmer than lukewarm. I use to hate taking pills as a kid but as I grew I got use to having pills first and breakfast after, sometimes they were hard to swallow but that all depended on how I was feeling, if I was physically to weak to even get up from bed (which happened more times than not) mom would dissolve it in water - or my preferred poison, ginger ale.

I never knew how to describe my disease to others other than just perpetually feeling like shit with some shit days and good days sprinkled in sporadically. I didnt know what caused how I felt, all I knew was some mornings I was hurling over my toilet, throwing up every medication I had just taken and waiting for one of my parents to rescue from my bathroom floor - this was one of those mornings. My head was throbbing, my throat was burning from the stomach acid I had just projectile vomited and my stomach felt like someone threw a stick of dynamite in it.

"Valerie, Val- oh god honey." My dads voice started out much quieter than soon was not even a foot away from my body, my hair was pulled from my face as another spew left my mouth - my hands clutching the sides of the bowl like I had one to many.

"Rachelle start the car!" He yelled to my other who, by the sounds of rummaging downstairs, didn't hesitate to follow his directions. A hand came down on my back as soft and reassuring words were whispered from behind me, I couldn't tell if they were for me or him.

We sat in the hospital for three hours, and like always, I was poked at like a lab rat. I didn't mind, because whatever drugs they were pumping into me through my IV made me feel a hell of a lot better. Apparently I had just caught a small cold from walking in the rain, which means my state was getting worse since last year I was perfectly fine doing more risky things and I guess guzzling down nine pills right after I woke up wasn't a great idea and now I would have to take them at different times throughout the day.

"This doesnt mean youre getting worse Valerie, your body has to be bad before it gets good." Dr.Rynes smiled at me as a few things were written down on the clipboard in his hand while a nurse began to take out my IV's - it was almost eleven thirty.

Id been told that all my life, and I told myself that - that this was all just the rain before the rainbow, but it was a hurricane. I spent the entire ride home looking out the window and texting Gabi on updates if I would be good for tonight, which Dr.Rynes cleared me for thankfully - I would just spend now until eight pm when Gabi was coming over to feel better.

I hate hospitals. They make me feel like I am really going to die. Dr.Rynes isn't too bad though, he's been my doctor since I was thirteen and makes things seems better than they are. I am sick of being sent to the hospital everytime I cough, I wish my parents could just feed me some nyquil and pray for the best but I also wish I wasn't sick anymore, but not every wish came true. I like to set obtainable wishes, so I am not too let down by the harsh truth of reality - a new one I have is that I feel good and have fun at the concert tonight, and that Gabi won't hover over me too much and actually enjoy herself.

I shoved my phone into my sweatpants pocket as I shoved my car pillow back into the corner, I always had a pillow for hospital trips incase I felt really bad - today I used it because I was just tired.

Mom shoved a smoothie with fruits that she had washed about seventy times down my throat just so I would have something in my stomach, then sent me off to bed, where I took a 'quick' power nap.

I woke up to Gabi barging in my bedroom, with an excited look in her eyes that soon fell guilty as she realize she woke me up. Quickly sitting at the edge of my bed and placing the huge bag I assumed was filled with clothes and makeup beside her feet, my half open eyes fluttering and fighting to open as I slowly sat up.

"I'm sorry I woke you up, you feeling any better?" Gabi pouted as she slowly crawled up beside me and laid down, my head soon falling on her shoulder with a soft sigh leaving my lips.

"Yea, don't worry I'll be fine for tonight. 'Kay?" I smiled as i swung my legs over the side of the bed and took a sip from the orange juice that had left a small orange ring on my white bedside table.

"I will call you an ambulance if I hear you so much as cough, I am turning into Rachelle and Andrew tonight." Her red curls bounced as she jumped off the bed, hauling her bag over to my vanity and planting a firm seat.

"Please don't. I want to be normal tonight, just act like I'm not sick please. I want to have normal teenage haha giggle giggle let's talk about boys and makeup fun." I groaned as I threw myself back onto the bed, a snort coming from the idiot who sat at the mirror with a now pasty white cream all over her face.

"Okay, then I am dressing you like a giggle giggle teenage girl. No more sweatpants and hoodies." Gabi always had a small pet peeve with the way I presented myself, saying 'You could be so much hotter if you tried.', I called it minimalism she called it laziness.

It took Gabriella a near hour and a half to finish her makeup and get dressed, she was wearing a tight black skirt with a white band tee cropped just under her bra which was a red as hot as her hair - all of that despite the shit weather but I guess that's how you dressed when you wanted your boyfriend to see you. She put some makeup on me, no more than she knew I was comfortable with, and began to throw clothes from her backpack like the clothes from my closet weren't even an option.

"Gabi, if you think I am wearing this you can get bent." I was picking up a few articles off the floor when a tiny shirt that was ninety nine percent lace was held between two of my fingers.

"I can dream. Go put these on, and actually put them on longer than five seconds so I can see them." She batted her real and fake eyelashes at me as a pile of clothes were placed in my hands as she turned back to mirror, somehow finding something on her face to fix.

When you are friends as long as we were, going into another room to change wasn't an issue. Throwing off my lazy clothing, I pulled a cropped black turtleneck over my head which made me wonder why it was a turtle neck which was made to cover if they were just going to cut it in half, and a dark blue denim skirt that was a good six inches below my underwear was pulled up to cover my ass. My entire midriff was exposed, the pale skin that never saw the skin was like a fluorescent light coming from my abdomen.

"Jesus christ Val, if I had your body I would walk around naked." Gabi groaned as she pouted at me as I attempted to pull the shirt down enough to make it a real shirt. I think she meant the skinniness, I had a serious lack of ass and just enough boobs where people could be semi-confident in saying I was a girl - I would kill for Gabis everything. She was around five foot six while I was barely five foot two, her curves came in when she was like twelve, I still looked like I was twelve, she had huge boobs, a great ass and the prettiest face - it was no wonder she had some rocker dude as a boyfriend.

"Oh shut it. You know you're hot." I scoffed as I walked to my full sized mirror and gave myself a good look - I didn't entirely hate it.

"Put these on so you don't look plain and then we can head out!" She threw a few necklaces at me as my eyes narrowed, I didn't know what about this about this said 'plain', but that was coming from the girl who had about nine holes in her head.

It was nine thirty when Gabi and I said goodbye to my parents, my outfit was hidden under my jacket and as Gabi slid on her thigh high black boots, I opted for a white ankle boot - maybe one day I'd reach the level of coordination it took to walk in the heels Gabi wore, but I doubted it.

We climbed into the truck and started down the road, singing along to the songs we knew on the radio and making up words to the ones we didn't. It was easy to ignore the feeling of my stomach dying when I felt so alive for those moments as the cities street lights illuminated our faces.