The Five Musketeers

"Four days will quickly steep themselves in night. Four nights will quickly dream away the time."

~Hippolyta, A Midsummer Night's Dream. Act 1 Scene 1.

There are certain clichés that simply can't be broken, Jess thought irately as she looked at her best friends. Michelle stared longingly at Jack while he pretended not to notice. Peter stared longingly at Nicole while she pretended not to notice. That left Jess sitting alone on the grass, clutching a piece of chalk in her colorful hands staring longingly at nothing in particular.

It didn't help Michelle that Jack looked exactly like Andrew Garfield in The Amazing Spiderman, and was funny, charming, and smart, to boot. It also didn't help Peter that he looked nothing like Andrew Garfield in The Amazing Spiderman, and was loud and quirky. Who could blame him for falling head over heels for Nicole - tall and sarcastic - except for Nicole herself.

Jess really didn't see the appeal of either Jack or Nicole. Yes, Jack was hot. But Jack also happened to be a massive flirt who obviously knew Michelle was wrapped around his little finger, yet didn't do anything about it. Yes, Nicole was hot, too. But Jess had spent so much time with her she knew that underneath all her sparkling blond hair Nicole was absolutely disgusting. As in only showers every four days gross.

While Michelle never said anything to Jack about her infatuation, it was a different ball game for Peter and Nicole. Peter had declared his love to Nicole three years ago, and upon receiving a horrified expression, quickly acted like the whole thing was a joke while he ran away and quietly nursed his wounds.

Back in eighth grade this had all been rather juicy, but since middle school Jess had become less sympathetic for her dysfunctional friends, and rather annoyed that she was as hopelessly single now as she was when she was 14.

And so, five days into the summer vacation before junior year of high school, Jess wished that she had someone pining after her, even if it was only Peter. Because no matter how many times Nicole swore it was annoying, and weird, and awkward, she still had someone who thought she was wonderful and beautiful, which was more than Jess could say for herself.

It was with these thoughts that Jess light heartedly resigned herself to a lifetime of being the Best-friend, someone who was always there for the main character, the star of the show, the girl who always, always got the guy, no matter how nerdy, weird, or disgusting she claimed to be. Jess figured she could be that main character's cheerleader, the fun sidekick who was extroverted and friendly, and came to the star's wedding ten years down the road and loudly proclaimed, "SEE? I told you it would all work out" while classily shipping champagne and telling anyone who listened she didn't need a man to make her happy, she was perfectly fine with her cats, thank you very much.

In a daze she pulled herself out of her daydreams and looked up. Bright pinks and oranges streamed across the sky, telling of the impending twilight. She figured she might as well get off her ass and do something productive amongst the mutual angst coming off Michelle and Peter in sheets.

"Guys, I've got to move my car into the driveway for the night," Jess hollered from her place among the shrubs. Being the only one of the five who both had her license and a car to drive, she felt compelled to rub both in everybody's faces as often as she possibly could. Putting the finishing details on her poor attempt at Simba from the Lion King, she threw the chalk into the grass and trudged over to her car, a massive white SUV aptly nicknamed "The Tank."

"Wait for me," Peter shouted, scrambling over to the Tank, screaming, "SHOTGUN!" as nobody else budged or even looked towards the car. Jess and Peter climbed in, and the engine came to life with a loud roar, enough to make the others look over and take notice.

        Before shifting the Tank into reverse, Jess turned towards Peter and raised an eyebrow. With her sunburned cheeks, frizzy, chlorine filled hair, and big sunglasses, she suspected she looked somehow otherworldly, or like a giant red bug.

"Sooooo," Jess drawled unconvinced, "You have no other motive for getting into the Tank to back up 10 feet. You just wanted to say hi? Get shotgun for once in your life? You don't want to complain about - "

"Jack. Jack is such an ASS sometimes!" Peter exploded.

"There it is," Jess muttered to herself, looking behind her as she reversed, narrowly missing a bike with training wheels on it. Peter would often pull Jess away from the rest of the group to talk about things that were pissing him off.

Like how his unrequited love for Nicole was still unrequited. Or Jack. Or Jack's perfect hair. Or how Jack flirted with anything with two legs and boobs. Or how he swears to God Jack was putting the moves on Nicole, and he couldn't take it any longer. Half of Jess and Peter's conversations were about how much he couldn't stand Jack, even though they were best friends and rocked a solid bromance.

"Listen, Pete," Jess started, ignoring his glare. Peter hated being called Pete. "I get that drawing hearts around you and Nicole's names is a bit douchey, but really, who gives a fuck. Besides, I like 'Niceter;' it's funny, if not that clever. I get you're all sensitive and shit, and that's totally fine, I respect you as a modern man who is in tune with your feelings. But really, you've got to stop getting butt hurt over the little stuff. You didn't see Michelle start bawling when you wrote 'M + J' all over. And that's a low blow. She's only been in love with him for the past seven years, cut her some slack."

"Can we just agree that Jack's a jerk?" Peter asked, not getting out of the car, and disregarding everything she had said for the past twenty seconds.

Jess exhaled. "We've agreed that Jack's a dick over a hundred times before, Petey." He looked unamused at her nickname and quickly exited the car.

Jess followed a minute later, slamming the door and rapidly pushing the lock button until the there was a spastic beep from behind her. She surveyed Nicole, Michelle, Jack, and Peter who were loitering by the basketball hoop. Jess sighed, threw her keys onto Michelle's porch, and leaped after her friends, ready to be completely trounced in a game of PIG.

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Thanks for reading! I have a new story out; it's called Benches. Check it out, if you have a spare moment or two!