The Five Musketeers

Chapter 12 - Cats and Dogs

How now, my love! why is your cheek so pale? How chance the roses there do fade so fast? 

~Lysander, A Midsummer Night's Dream. Act 1, Scene 1.

A scream pierced the air and interrupted the melodic voice of Nicki Minaj. Glaring over her shoulder in annoyance, Jess gave her friends a poisonous look. "One more peep and I'm turning this car around, got it?" Looking green, Jack gave a queasy nod, closing his eyes. 

Jess huffed and turned back around, just in time to stomp on the brakes and avoid killing everyone by running a red light. Sitting shotgun, Michelle yawned and stretched, checking the clock. "How much longer, 10 minutes?" she asked no one in particular.

Jerking up, Nicole eagerly blurted, "15, with no traffic." She glanced at Peter quickly, to see if he had noticed how good she was with time management. He had, and was grinning goofily at her, looking horribly awkward sandwiched between a carsick Jack and a coy Nicole.

Clicking her tongue in revulsion, Jess looked back at them in the rear view mirror. Their legs and shoulders touched, and occasionally they giggled for no reason. Jack very pointedly pretended they didn't exist.

It was only because of Michelle's causal remark of "Stop sign" that Jess narrowly avoided being t-boned by a truck, honking her horn forcefully even though it was entirely her fault.

After taking two days to think about the weird situation between her friends, Jess had decided to do the logical thing and pretend nothing out of the ordinary was going on. Deciding that it was her turn to pick something to do, Jess had rounded up the gang and lovingly packed the, in the Tank like sardines.

Telling her mom they were going to a movie, Jess steadily drove into Minneapolis, her only navigation her memory and Google maps. It was an adventure of the ages.

The only flaws with her plan was the horrid bumper to bumper traffic and the lack of parking.

And the rampant sexual tension/resentment hanging over everyone's head like an unpleasant fog. Who could forget that?

The older section of the city, where they were headed, was not designed for huge SUVs. Quaint light posts dotted the side walk and quirky shops decorated the landscapes. Hipsters and college kids from the U meandered around serenely, holding Starbucks.

The scene was shattered by the gas guzzling tank carrying five awkward teenagers pulling up. After trying to parallel park no less than six times, Jess gave up and left the car sitting about three feet away from the curb, completely crooked.

Everyone spilled out, and Jack immediately sat down on the grass, head in his hands. "Guys, I need a few quarters for the meter. Help a girl out," Jess said while shoving her hand in her pocket, fishing for spare change.

"Jess, you said this was your treat. We didn't bring anything," Peter quipped, going up to rattle the meter, hoping it would magically gain enough money to avoid a parking ticket.

"Well I was just being nice, I didn't think you would come if you had to buy stuff!" She wailed melodramatically, opening the car door and looking under the seats.

"AHA!" She appeared with a handful of dirty coins and triumphantly started to shove them in the slot.

"Alrighty, follow me, ducklings," Jess said, walking confidently towards her destination.

"Jess, where are we even going? You haven't told us anything," Michelle complained, deliberately stepping on the back of Jack's shoe. With a curse he started hopping on one foot, trying to fix his sneaker.

"For the last time, it's a GODDAMN SURPRISE!" Jess yelled, immediately feeling guilty as a mother pushing a stroller gave her a horrified look.

Moving to the back of the pack, Jess deliberately slipped between Peter and Nicole, who were too close for her liking.

"Jack, make a left," she hollered, unwilling to move back to the front.

After a few more loud directions, Jess sprinted to the front of the gaggle, practically buzzing with excitement. "Okay, I know you guys are wondering why I brought you here. Prepare to be amazed."