(CAMREN) Falling For You

14

Lauren and the girls woke up early and went for a hike while me and Amelia decided to stay cuddling in bed and sleeping in. By the time we got up and dressed the girls still weren't back so we decided to just go and explore a little around the cabin. We took some silly photos and then we played some imaginary game Amelia came up with. To be honest I've always loved kids but I really didn't see myself having any I mean I know if I stood with Austin longer, the norm would have been to get married and have kids but it wasn't something I dreamt of. But after having Amelia in my life I can't imagine not having kids especially with Lauren it's crazy to say that because we haven't been together long but it's true. I mean we already technically have a little family. I already feel like Amelia's mom and she feels like she's my daughter so in reality we are a family. I just hope that Lauren and I stay together and have our own kid or kids and I can't wait till that day to see what our kids would look like. If they'd look more like me or her or a mix of both of us. And to see how great of a big sister Amelia would be. It makes me smile to know that one day possibly I'll have my own little Jauregui tribe. Amelia and I decided to pack a few snacks and lay in the grass and look at the clouds.

"Mama... you think when we sees shapes that it's my angel mama doing them?"

"Do you love the shapes melly?"

"Yes! Soo soo much! I love them cause they all different."

"Then yes love I do think they're from your angel mama maybe it's her way of showing you she love you."

"I love her too. I really love the bunny one."

"Oh sweetie I think you're starting to have a bunny obsession."

"I love bunnies mama they so fluffy and they hop I like to hop too. Wanna see I show you."

Amelia gets up and hops in circles around me. For some reason on her second lap of hops she started meowing and I started laughing so hard my sides started to hurt.

"Mama! You meanie! Why you laugh!!"

"I'm sorry baby. But why are you meowing?"

"Cause I know no what sounds bunnies make but I know what sounds kitties make mama."

I couldn't help but laugh again but she started to frown so I stretched out my arms and told her to come to me.

"I'm sorry baby I didn't mean to make you sad. It was funny and silly. You're my silly mermaid aren't you?" I said as rocked her in my arms.

"It's ok mama. I forgivz you." Amelia said into my chest. Then she looked up at me "Camzi you love me?"

"Of course I love you. You and your mommy are my world. Why do you ask?"

"Cause I no want you to leave me?"

"What do you mean? Why would you think I would leave you Amelia?"

"I no know my angel mama left me. Maybe you leave me too." Amelia said as she looked down.

"Sweetie look at me please." She shook her head no. "Please my little mermaid can you look at me." Amelia lifted her head to look at me again. "I may not have known your angel mama but I know for a fact that she never wanted to leave you it wasn't her choice Okay babe. It was just her time to go, god needed her. But know that she loved you very very much."

Amelia's eyes started to water. And I felt my heart breaking just by the sight. "But camzi what if god wants you too. I no wanna lose you. God took my angel mama. I no want him to take you too." And with that she just started crying. And I couldn't help but cry with her.

"Amelia please don't cry. I promise I will try everything in my power to tell god he has to wait okay. I will be here with you for years and years and years. I love you sooo sooo much Amelia I won't leave you I promise you. Please don't worry about that anymore okay baby." She nodded her head and cried a little more. I sat there rocking her in my arm for a while till she fell asleep. Once I knew she was asleep I got up and took her into the house and laid her on our bed. When I went to lay her down she wouldn't release her grip on my shirt so I just decided to lay down with her. Once I laid down she rolled closer to me at this point she was pretty much laying on me. I just rubbed her back soothingly.