There's So Much Pain You Know

Chapter 3- Whatever Happen To Goodbye

Violet's POV

We kept him on my bed for 3 days. I was holding him and messing with his hair. His face was pale and his eyes were closed. He had no neither a smile nor frown upon his lips. No emotion was left on his dead face. I was crying into his chest at night. My dreams were about him. All of the good, bad, and ugliness of him and us. I woke up to my dad coming in and calming me back down and me falling back asleep. I couldn't even move without feeling pain and sadness. I didn't eat, drink, shower or even sleep after a while for days. One day I got the nerve to shower. I walked into the bathroom and saw the pill bottle. I looked down at what he took. Sleeping pills. Like I did when I committed suicide. I started crying again. I walked into the shower and cutted. I cut till I passed out of blood loss. I didn't wake up for 3 days. In those 3 days a miracle happened. I don't know what I did but he woke up screaming for me.

I woke up in my bed. In a black dress and my arms bandaged. I can feel soft breathing against my neck and a hand draped over my stomach. I can feel the burning of my cuts. I moan softly and then I heard moving around behind me. I closed my eyes and fell back asleep. For the 3 days that I was gone I had the best sleep I have had my whole life. Even before I killed myself. I fall asleep in the arms of my first love. My only love. I love Tate Langdon. Not just the soft side of him that cares and loves me, I love the psycho killer part of him as well. It makes him, him.

"Violet, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for raping your mom, I'm sorry I killed those kids, I'm sorry for even loving you. I feel like I've been killed over and over again when I lost you. I love you. These past 3 years have been hell, but I knew that I could get you back, but now that you're dead I can't get you back. You changed me Violet. For the better. I want to just say goodbye. I want to kiss your lips one last time before you go. Then I will be calm and mellow and happy. Shit I killed myself to be with you. I saw you dead but then you came back and helped me, but I was already gone. But then you saw me dead, and then you killed yourself. You promised me that you would stop cutting but then you cutted till you died. I'm sorry. " He said. Tate still thinks I'm dead, and I feel even guiltier that I left him.

He got up. I now feel cold. He brought me heat.

"Baby, don't leave. You kept me warm." I whispered. I heard him turn around and walked over to my side. I opened my eyes, and saw his. There were his dark brown eyes, bloodshot and his face was pale and sunken. He was shacking and crying. I started crying seeing him so broken.

"Baby don't cry. I'm here, I'm here baby. I will never leave you." He told me. He wiped away my tears, and the crawled onto my bed. I faced him and was tucked into his arms. Taking in his sent and kissed his neck. He was cresting my face and was whispering the same thing. "I will never leave, its ok baby. It's ok. I love you."

"Tate its ok, I'm here. I love you Tate. The past 3 years has been hell for me. I never walked out of my room besides to shower. I was so sad I started cutting. I cutted every day. I couldn't function without you. I thought at the time it was a good decision to push you away but it brought me more pain. I feel whole now, with you at my side. Who found me in the shower?" I told him.

"Me, I saw you and then brought you into your room. I thought you died, and would never come back. I put you in the dress earlier today. I was going to tell your mom and dad. I was telling you my final words before I was going to tell them. I'm soo happy your back." He said. I hugged him so tightly.

"Thank you." I whispered. He hugged me tighter and I felt my shoulder go wet. I tangled my hand into his hair. I was kissing his forehead when he got up. He looked at me and did something that I haven't done since I said goodbye to him. He kissed me.

It felt like I was being re-birthed. I felt the sparks from when we first kissed all over again, but stronger. Our lips moved in synced still even with 3 years of no other connections. I missed this; I missed his lips on mine. He kissed me harder; I can feel myself getting wet. All I want is him, all of him. I want to make love to Tate Langdon my first love, my love forever. I love Tate fucking Langdon!!