Short random stories~

All Of The Stars

All Of The Stars

She was looking down at the lake, already over the fence and hanging on thanks to what allowed her to. She breathed, her hands shaking though she held on tightly to the metal and just watched the waves move as I watched her, standing only a few feet away from her. She feared heights, and she feared drowning even though she tells me she was already drowning on the inside. I knew just how that felt, yet I was making her do this. I wanted her to face her fears and not be afraid. though this was only a few and she was not sure if she loved me anymore though I knew I was deeply in love. though there was nothing I can do but help her face her feas, so maybe she is less afraid when I'm not there for her. I came close to her, my arms wrapping around her and holding er tight even though the metal fence was in the way like how there was always something in the way.

She breathed deeply again and I knew that I was only making this harder for her to move on. I didn't quite understand how she wanted me to go on without her after all these years, but I did understand that the reason was important and some things mattered more to her than it did to me. I wrested my head on her shoulder and listened to her repetition of the words " I want to jump" and "Let go of me Caleb", but i wasn't that stupid to let her jump. " Unfortunetly Emma, You are leaving someone who would rather die in the most brutal way than to allow you to kill your self. I didn't bring you hear to do that, I brought you here to face your fears..and to look at pretty stars and maybe laugh instead of crying for once." i mumbled, and her perfect curly hair hit my face due to how strong the wind is. netherless, it was not cloudy, and for the first time in this city the stars were shining bright. I can hear her crying quietly, and I managed to ignore it. "baby just look at the stars..their shining look!" I nearly whimpered when I spoke and cleared my dry throat, pointing at the stars and her shakey hands let go of the fence, depending on my arms to keep her from falling and her feet constantly trying to move back. "I trust you, I trust you Caleb" Her words and tone was fast, finaly speaking to me something that wasn't her sueicidal thoughts. I held her tight and pressed my cold lips to her head, leaving a long kiss before resting my tired head down on her shoulder.

I knew she was afraid, but I decided to believe the words she spoke to me. "If you fall I fall with you, wether you love me or you dont. okay? I'll never let you go" I forced my cheesy smile when her pale, brown glassy eyed, face looked at me and my hazel eyes that I bet have lost their color. She nodded her head fast and squeezed my arms looking down at the watter under her feet and sniffing her nose. that was before she looked up at the beautiful dark sky, brighteneed with the half moon and scattered stars everywhere. "I'll never forget you..ever Caleb. You've saved me and I can never reward you or this. I'm sorry its this way.."  Her words repeated in my head and I gulped down looking up at the stars with her, hoping my threatening tears would stop. " Don't apologize for the way you feel darling. Its okay..just promise me something.." I refused to look at her and her hands became less stiff on me, proving that she trusted me even though I believed her. "Caleb.." She put her hand on my cheek, making me look at her and I only smiled. "lets just laugh okay?" I'm guessing she had noticed my glassy eyes in the dark, and I didn't mind.

"Just promise me something" I said in a more comanding tone this time. She nodded slowly and I parted my lips again to speak. "promise me you wont even think of killing yourself anymore..when I'm not there anymore to stop you..just dont..dont do it." I was serious, and she nodded as a response, giving me a small smile. I never loosened my grip on her, helping her turn around slowly and place her feet on the lower metal,and I lifted her up and over to where her feet fully touched the warm ground. Her hands were still on my shoulder and brown eyes looking down before meeting mine. I leaned down and kissed her forehead as she spoke softly, thanking me for the millionth time as if she forgot that all these years I have been looking out for her, just like how she looked out for me. She brought out a side of me I never knew existed and those eyes I'll never forget, nor that smile.

"I'll drive you home" I whispered as I pulled away, knowing it was the last time I'd lay my hands on her the way I used to. But I had to make myself believe I will eventually be okay, convince my self that she isn't the one for me, and other lies. I started my car and drove off into the cold night, dropping her of home before letting the rode take me where it wanted. I allowed my endless tears fall, and lifted the pack of cigarettes that I had left after she helped me stop, not thinking twice about lighting another with a smile on my face, and I wasn't sure what I felt now. All I knew was now I had to hope she was not in any truble at home for leaving with me, and hope that I will stop my endless thoughts of her and the furitive memories of us.