Beautiful Images ::VHope::

Ångest

TaeHyung told me we could work, and even offered a second date to prove it. I accepted his offer, hoping that with baby steps in the right direction we will become a real couple. I kissed him again before I left, almost like I didn't really believe he was being honest with me until I made sure.

I walk down the streets of the city, feeling the eyes of hundreds of people. I makes me cave in on myself, my shoulders curving as I try to stay unnoticed. I shove my hands into my pockets, nodding my head as someone from my English says hi. I walk up the steps to my dorm, unlocking it before stepping inside. NamJoon comes running from his bed.

"Oh, thank God!" NamJoon shouts, engulfing me in his arms. I push against him as he squeezes the air out of my lungs. "I thought you were dead! Why aren't you answering the phone?"

"I'm fine." I mumble as he releases me.

"You're fine?" He asks. "You left in the deadass of night and didn't come home until the late afternoon the next day and all you say is 'I'm fine'?"

"I'm fine." I repeat. He looks at me, frowning at the marks on my neck.

"Did you-?" He starts. I roll my eyes, making my way to my desk to finish putting together my final project. I hear him sigh. "You know you don't have to do everything a guy tells you to. You can say fuck off."

"I wanted to."

"Wait." He sits on his bed. "I saw TaeHyung at work and he said you were with him. It was him?" I look over at him. His eyebrows are drawn close together as he tries to put two and two together. "You fucked him?"

"Yeah." I lie. It's easier to say yes than explain I went to a party. Easier than saying I was high and drunk. Easier than telling him I have no idea who I slept with. Even NamJoon knows a little bit about the girls he sleeps with. I throw a few mental slams at myself. NamJoon's jaw drops slightly.

"I didn't think it would happen so fast." He says, dumbfounded. "He seems so...conservative." I roll my eyes again. NamJoon keeps talking to me, but I ignore him. I pile up my pictures, trying to fit them into the picture box I bought. Nothing looks quite right. I stop to look at a picture of TaeHyung. He sits on his knees on a sidewalk, a giant smile on his face as a dog licks his cheek. The dog is a lab mix of some kind, it's tail mod wag. In this captured moment, he looks so happy. He seems younger, maybe still in his teens. He doesn't look like a broken man that has gone through hell. Through hell alone, actually. He looks happy. He looks beautiful. The next picture is the one I took only days ago. His eyes stare blankly ahead, a single tear trailing his cheek. He looks beautiful here, too. I stick them together, the happy overlapping the sad— and it clicks.

The Human Experience.

My work isn't just a person's daily life. It's their experiences. I pile the pictures into the box, taking the happy and sad pictures to inside of the lid. My presentation shouldn't be elaborate. It should be felt. It should be presented like memories, and digging through this box should evoke your emotions. I stare at the tan box. It's all in here. Happy and sad. Love and anger. It's all captured within these stilled frames. I hold a story in my hands. An amazing story with thick layers. Layers I don't know yet. I believe this is the best project I have done.

<><><><><><><><><><>

I dance in the booth, popping another fry into my mouth. I chant I love food repeatedly in Korean. TaeHyung just stares at me. I silently admire his jean jacket over a Van Halen tee and fluffy hair. He wears thick glasses, which rest on the edge of his nose. He looks grungy and romantic. I love it.

"What-what does that m-mean?" He asks finally. I forgot he doesn't speak Korean. I laugh, blushing.

"I love food!" I cheer. "I love food!" He shakes his head, biting into his burger.

"I also love kimchi." I say, thickening my accent. He laughs, and I point to a smudge of ketchup on his face.

"Why you so dirty?" I say, keeping my accent. "So dirty face." This time, it's my turn to laugh. I sound like my mother.

"You-you're cute." He says, smiling at me. I feel my face turning red. I've never been on a second date before, but I think it's going well. I glance out the window, noticing how dark it is.

"It's getting late, should we start going?" I ask, tilting my head at him. He nods, shoving a few of his fries into his mouth as he stands up. TaeHyung is taking me to a midnight concert. I guess the artist is still young and new. I've never heard of him, but I imagine he's good.

We stand outside the bar in the crisp air. I jump around trying to stay warm. I hear TaeHyung sigh, pulling off his jacket and wrapping it around me. He pulls me into his arms. I melt into the heat immediately. This is nice. The kind of nice I could get used to.

"Oh my God, HoSeok!" A familiar voice shouts. I jump, glancing up from TaeHyung's chest. YoonGi waves, trotting over to us. Intense automatically, stepping just slightly behind TaeHyung. "I'm YoonGi." He says to Tae. I feel TaeHyung's shoulders broaden and his fists clench.

"I don't think you got my message? At least, you never replied. I just wanted to-." YoonGi is cut off as TaeHyung slams his fist to his face. I scream, covering my face with my hands.

"Sorry about your fucking nose." TaeHyung snarls without stuttering. I stand behind him, my jaw dropped. YoonGi groans on the ground, covering his face. He spits blood.

"Oh, no." I whine. I tug at my own hair, anxiety swelling in my chest. I know YoonGi will be mad at me for this. My mind flips through images of him hurting me again. I suddenly can't breathe. "Oh, no." TaeHyung reaches for my hand, leading me away from the scene. I repeat oh no to myself over and over, unable to comprehend the moments that just happened. Everything was so perfect. I yelp as TaeHyung yanks me harder.

"He's lucky I didn't fucking kill him." He says through his teeth. It scares me when TaeHyung is mad. It scares me that he's violent, and it scares me that his aggression takes away his stutter. He tugs me along with him to his apartment forgetting to ask if I want to go home with him.

<><><><><><><><><><><>

Where are you from and what language(s) do you speak?

USA. I speak English. Conversational German and Korean, losing my Swedish the older I become. I'm so forgetful!

I only ask because I love languages and think they are fascinating!