Beautiful Images ::VHope::

Away

//Patron Saint of Bridge Burners:
My Best Unforgotten Friend//

I moan, stretching out on my bed. I frown, my eyes still closed, as I feel nothing but cold sheets. For the millionth time since Jimin has died, I realize that he's not here. I sit up slowly, looking over at my alarm clock. It's only a little after noon. I run a hand through my hair, groaning at the headache already starting. I push the blankets away from me, sitting on the edge of my bed. I guess I should actually attempt being an adult today and pay all my bills.

Standing up feels harder than usual, but let's be real, a lot of things are. I think that maybe I should call the doctor and tell him everything that's been happening, but I can get around to that later. I shuffle out to my kitchen, shuddering at the chill in the air. It's still fall, it shouldn't be this cold in my house yet. I open my medicine cabinet, pulling out my pain killers, and hoping that the headache will go away before it even begins. Sitting at my table, I pull up my laptop. I do my bills online now. I can take as much time as I need to read them, and I don't have to go through the embarrassment of stuttering to a person. A little after one, my doorbell rings. I push myself up and hobble to the front door. I open it to see a small boy with dark hair and bright eyes smiling up at me. He's holding a take-out bag in his hand.

"Hi, hyung." He says chirpily, moving past me and setting the food on my table. "I figured that, since it's you know," he trails off, looking up at me, "that you wouldn't eat by yourself, so here I am to force you." He smiles, holding out chopsticks to me.

"S-Since it's wha-what?" I tilt my head in confusion. He frowns, chewing on his bottom lip. He tugs at his fingers nervously. "Jung-JunKo-Kook since wh-what?"

"It's the 13th, hyung." He answers softly, not meeting my eyes. My stomach clenches. How is it the 13th already? Tears prick at my eyes. "But I, uh, I brought you a little bit of everything." He continues.

"I-I'm not hung-gry." I say, pushing the chopsticks back to JungKook. He frowns.

"Hyung, please eat." He sets a plateful of my favourites in front of me, but I feel no desire to eat anything at all. JungKook begins eat, stuffing his face until his cheeks are puffed out and he can barely chew. He keeps looking at me, waiting for me to give up and eat.

"You have a doctors appointment tomorrow, right?" He asks. I nod carelessly. "Do you want me to go with you?" I shrug. I feel awful. He's only 16. And just recently 16. He shouldn't feel like he needs to stop by all the time just to make sure his mentally retarded friend hasn't killed himself. Don't get me wrong. I love JungKook, and I love having him around. It's just... he used to always look up to me, like I was some super human with all the possibilities in the world. And when he was younger I would push myself to be the best example I could ever be for him. Yet here I am. I can't even stay the word car without messing it up. I can't even get my pants on in the morning, or remember exactly were my medication is. I'm not the super human he thought I was, and he deserves that.

"I'll go with you. It'll be fun! We can even go out to eat, I know that you like the restaurant down the street from the doctors. We can get ice cream, too! And maybe stop and get this new game that came out Tuesday-." JungKook talks fast, his words rapid around mouthfuls of food. I stay quiet, barely touching the food Kookie brought me.

He's always been rather chirpy. It's a good quality of his. He stares at me, waiting for an answer to a question I didn't hear. He chews slowly, his cheeks puffed out.

"Y-ye-yeah." I nod.

"Did-chu-ven-heer-meh?" He struggles to say. I manage a faint smile, shaking my head. He rolls his eyes, swallowing. "I said there's a new boy at school. And he's so...rude."