Beautiful Images ::VHope::

Kiss Me

I don't stop running. My panicked mind tells me that he's following me. Don't stop running. He's going to kill you. My lungs burn as I sprint up the steps to our dorm. I glance behind me, and run straight into somebody.

"Jesus Christ, Hoe." NamJoon groans under me. I breathe hard, my fingers clutching his shirt as I recognize his voice. He sits up on the stairs, pulling me up closer to his face. He looks around my terrified eyes. "What's wrong?"

I shake my head quickly, mumbling some words that not even I understand. He hushes me, smoothing back my hair before cupping my face gently. I let myself go, my breath hitching as my body shudders.

"Hey, hey. Hoseok. It's okay, it's okay." I don't listen much to his voice, and instead let the anxiety envelop me. "Look at me, babe. Hoseok! Look at me!" I open my eyes, meeting his. He smiles. "Good job. Just breathe with me. I promise I got you, okay? Feel my arms? I'm not letting go. Just breathe with me." He nods, breathing in slowly, and then out.

"You can do it." He encourages as I try to get my breathing to match his. He sucks in, and I follow suit. We blow out together. He rubs my arms, smiling hugely as I fall into his chest. My breathing becomes almost normal again. "Good job. I'm really proud." He says softly, his hand rubbing my back. I shiver, pressing into him more. I squeak as he lifts me, carrying me up another flight of steps and into our dorm. He doesn't ask me to talk, just calls his professor to say he can't make it to class today, before crawling into bed with me and taking a much needed nap.

I wake up, surprised at the warmth coming from behind me. I move a little, and realize that NamJoon is spooning me. I roll over a little, seeing him propped up on one elbow, his eyes closed.

"Why are you laying here?" I ask sleepily. His eyes open.

"You were starting to sleep uneasily. But it stopped when I held you so..." He drops off, his eyes scanning my face. I smile a little at how nice he is. He leans in. I stop breathing as his lips gently touch mine. It's soft and quick. NamJoon pulls away, his eyes wider. I take a moment to ground myself, taking in his face and his fading blonde hair that is natural today and slightly curly.

"NamJoon...I don't think."

"Oh. Oh, it's okay." He says, quickly getting up and moving to the kitchen. "I'm not even really sure...why I-." He shakes his head. "It's okay." He turns around to hide his burning face and to make a bowl of cereal.

"NamJoon." I say. I feel bad, but I really don't think I actually like him that way. Yes, he's very attractive and smart and nice, but he's my best friend. I love him as my best friend. I know that he picks real relationships based on personalities, but he likes girls too much to ever actually be anything with me. I'm not upset he kissed me at all, I just know that it doesn't actually mean what he thinks it does.

"Really, it's okay. It's not like I was expecting anything." He clears his throat. "What happened today? I know you went to see TaeHyung, but why were you running here so damn fast?" He changes the subject, the redness in his cheeks fading. I allow the subject to change, hoping that he'll eventually go back to normal.

"He just," I pause, my eyes unfocused for a moment as I remember his hands around my throat, "he scared me is all."

"Did he...?" NamJoon stops himself. His fists clenching. "I swear to god that I will beat the fucking shit out of him just like I did to YoonGi in eleventh grade. I swear to-."

"NamJoon, it wasn't like YoonGi." I say quickly, wanting him to stay calm. He releases all of his air, his hands still clenched. "It wasn't like what happened then. It was different. He just scared me."

"How did he scare you?" NamJoon asks. His eyes are glazed over as he stares across the room at the opposite wall. I feel as though I shouldn't have told him TaeHyung scared me. His eyes tell me that he's trying to decide whether I am telling him everything, and if he needs to punch someone. I swallow, realizing now that the adrenaline isn't coursing through me that my throat hurts.

"He just did." I say. If I tell NamJoon what happened he's going to be spending the night, or the rest of his life, in a jail cell. He already has stayed overnight at the local jail because of beating up YoonGi. His statement was just he hurt my best friend, was I supposed to let him do it again?

I look up, realizing that NamJoon's gaze has switched to me. His eyebrows are scrunched up as he studies me. He tilts his head a little, probably trying to figure out what he did that scared me so bad.

"I hate him." He decides, taking his food and sitting on his own bed. He turns on the small TV in our room, flipping through channels before settling on HGTV. As NamJoon watches people decide what their houses should look like, all the while adding his own opinions, I go to our bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror, sighing at the dark bags under my eyes. My hair is sticking up in a very unattractive way, but no matter how I try to get it to lay down it sticks up anyway. I feel my neck, tilting my head to look at the soft purple bruise that's forming there. Fuck. I look at my lips. NamJoon kissed me.  My fingers mindlessly touch my lips, feeling them. I don't understand why. I swear that he likes girls. But he kissed me. So he must like me, right? I mentally groan. Why would he even like me? He got upset when the girl said we looked like a couple, wouldn't that mean he doesn't like me? My mind shuffles through endless possibilities, all seemingly ending with the same thing. I don't get why he kissed me. Is because we're so close? Did I make him think that I wanted him too? Oh no, what if he starts disliking me and-

There's a loud knock at the door, making me jump and run back into the same room as NamJoon. He looks over at me, watching as I jump into my bed och grab a blanket. I wrap it around myself.

"Jesus, Hoe. It's just someone at the door." He shakes his head, pouring yet another bowl of cereal. We both ignore the knocking. We don't exactly like having visitors, especially college kids. They're just so messy and obnoxious. There's another knock.

"Ho-Hoseok. Ple-ple-please. I'm sorry." TaeHyung's voice comes from the other side of the door. I freeze. NamJoon stands up, rolling his sleeves. "There-there's things wro-rong with me-e. Please. I'm so-so-sorry." I squeeze my blanket tighter as NamJoon opens the door.

"I suggest that you get away from here before I beat the life out of you." My eyes water as Tae looks down at NamJoon's clenched fist.

"There's thi-things wrong." Tae's voice breaks, his hands motioning frantically around his head. He looks past NamJoon at me, and my heart ices. I let out a cry as he turns away and NamJoon shuts the door. NamJoon locks the door, pulling his desk chair in front of it.

"Damn fucking straight something's wrong with him. Psycho." He grumbles. I wrap my blanket around my head. "Hoseok, it's fine. We can find someone else to take pictures of."