I Find Myself in Words

I'm Fine...

"How are you?"
I'm breaking.
I'm falling apart.
I want nothing more than to die right now.
I want to cry and never stop.
I want to be able to actually get out of bed and not have anxiety
about what I'm going to wear.
I want to be able to leave the house
and not feel like all eyes are beaming right at me with judgment.
I want to be able to go to school and not feel like an outcast.
I want to be able to go to out with "friends" and not feel left out.
I want to be able to speak my mind and not be shunned by every little word I speak.
I want to have actual genuine friends that love me.
I want to not crave giving myself a stripe every day because of people's hurtful words.
I want to be able to walk in the bathroom and not be tempted by the empty tub.
I want people to look at me like I'm normal. I just want to be normal.
I don't want people to leave me.
I want people to actually care, but they don't. They don't ever care.
I want to be able to want to wake up.
I want to be able to want to breathe, but I don't, I really don't.
"I'm fine."