I Find Myself in Words

The Clock Strikes

"I'm happy."
"I feel great about myself."
"My friends love me."
"I'm happy..."
The clock strikes 3 a. m.
I lay wide awake.
I'm scrolling through my phone seeing the people I thought cared for me
out and having fun with everyone they know;
but not me...
I look up at the ceiling thinking about life.
Tears start to unintentionally flow out of my eyes.
My mind automatically turns for the worst;
nobody likes me,
they never liked me.
I feel a lump in my throat and my mind in a daze of lies.
I'm starting to believe them.
"Maybe I was never happy."