See You on Wednesday // hes + lwt

VIII

What. Just. Happened. 

Louis kissed me Louis kissed me Louis kissed me Louis kissed me.

And now we're basically going on our first date tomorrow night. 

I skip all the way home like a little schoolgirl. 

The next night I stand in front of the mirror, adjusting and re-adjusting the collar of my polo shirt a million times. There aren't just butterflies in my stomach; there's a whole zoo. 

But I've never been happier.

Louis picks me up in his dad's pickup truck at 7:59. One minute early. That makes me smile for some reason. God, how I love him. 

Louis puts the radio on loud as we drive to theater. We sit like that for a few minutes, taking it all in and simply existing. I reach for the knob to turn the radio down. 

"Why did you kiss me if you're dating Stephanie?" I ask Louis.

"I'm not really dating Stephanie. Well, she thinks we are, but I'm only dating her because I'm afraid of what people would say if they knew I was gay." He responds.

"I know what you mean," I tell him. "I don't tell people often myself. It's just kinda scary. I don't want people to think any less of me." Louis looks over at me and gives me the warmest, most loving smile I've ever seen. I'm actually living in a Taylor Swift song, I think. I have the biggest smile on my face for the rest of the drive.

A few hours later, Louis and I are laying down in the trunk of his dad's pickup. The movie is absolutely horrible, and we make fun of it the entire time. Something that I've learned while watching this movie is that Louis has the best laugh. Especially when he's laughing at my jokes. His laughter sends a wave of warmth right through my core. And those electric blue eyes get me every time. I'm so whipped. 

"I have a confession to make," I say. Louis looks at me, slightly alarmed. "I...well, I used to hate you. I thought you were just another one of those foam-dome, meathead jocks. Oh, how wrong I was. I'm so, so sorry for judging a book by its cover like that. I just...I don't want you to be in a relationship with me if you're oblivious to the way I used to feel. I'd feel too guilty about it." I feel ashamed. I misjudged Louis by a mile. God, I can't believe I ever felt that way about him. 

"It's okay. I have a lot of guilt myself. Whenever my friends make fun of the geeky kids like you, I...I'm a bystander. I just sit back and watch it happen. Sometimes...sometimes I even laugh along. It's horrible, and disgusting, I know, and I'm ashamed of myself for it. But I just feel so much peer pressure, especially as one of their ringleaders, and most especially as a closeted gay football player, to fit in with them. To be like them. I've seen what happens when you're different than them, you know? They swoop in and attack you like falcons to prey. It's horrible, and I wish I could break this cycle. But I feel like there's nothing I can do about it." I can see tears brimming in Louis' eyes as he speaks. I hate to see him this upset.

"I understand, Louis. I see you. I see past the facade you feel you have to put up. When I look at you, I don't see the homecoming king. I see a rock musician with wicked electric guitar skills. I see an eloquent, intelligent, and thoughtful young man with a bright future ahead of him. I see you, Louis Tomlinson. Crystal clear." I kiss Louis' forehead after I finish speaking. 

"And I see you, Harry Styles. Clear as day." Louis says.

"Louis, I..." Louis looks at me with love in his eyes. 

"I'm in love with you," I half-whisper.

"I'm in love with you too." Louis replies. 

We hold eye contact for a moment before making lip contact. He tastes like mint and coffee. I feel like I'm soaring, soaring, soaring, high above the clouds. I love him. And he loves me. We love each other. 

"Do you know what my favorite food is?" Louis says.

"I don't, actually," I say. 

"The food that tastes like the feeling I get when we kiss," he says. 

Our lips meet again, and stay attached for the rest of the movie.