A four year old,
Hands a flower to the guard,
He is pleasantly surprised,
Now was that a guesture so hard?
A six year old,
Asks her friend to not throw,
Wrappers of candy,
On her way home.
A ten year old,
Tells his mom chess is boring,
She makes sure he plays,
Because in it he is scoring.
A twelve year old,
Is made to dance and paint,
Make a career out of these,
Other things can wait.
Fourteen year olds,
Drawing pictures to save a park,
They're too young to know better,
It gets destroyed in the dark.
Sixteen year olds,
Not allowed to vote,
While certain adults don't even care,
And a misogynistic liar they promote.
Eighteen year olds,
Not allowed to fall in love,
You'll know better when you're older,
This feeling currently let go of.
I was done with my post Benchmark run when Aarsh called me up asking me where I was. At a garden 7 minutes jogging away, I decided to go and meet him. PDP is a beautiful place, with a small hilly region, a running track for the public, and an entire second replica with an actual 400m track combined with tennis courts, badminton courts, a football turf and bleachers. All of this is sea facing with a drizzle of a beach.
It is normal for Aarsh and me to find pockets of time to see each other. PDP is that place. It is the closest thing to a minsicule Central Park that South Mumbai will ever have.
And now builders want to take that away from us too. There are sign campaigns, there is a gallery of drawings made by children to save the park, but all in vain. And we are all too afraid that one day it will just take one powerful man to ignore and break it all.
Aarsh was really taken by the PDP movement, and the one to tell me about it. "You have to sign here every time you come over. Every signature matters."
"Why do kids not get an equal say in what is supposed to happen in the real world? Sometimes I feel that would change so many things. They are the tomorrow. They'll not have gardens. They are the ones who will have to live in a world where their parents showered for thirty minutes just because they could and them showering for lesser was not going to make a difference to thirsty people in Africa. They are the ones who have to deal with political leaders who have not served their term and the repercussions of no foresight. And it is just irritating that they are helpless and can do very little to make a difference." Aarsh vented.
No grown up is going to hand a flower to a security guard.
I went to Europe for a tour where there was a family of four who kept littering inside the bus, forget outside. And inspite of telling them to clean up a couple of times, they still just wouldn't understand.
Andre Agassi hated tennis, but he was great at it. Does that make it alright for his father to have drilled him during his childhood against his wishes?
Maturity, understanding, common sense? I think most of these things are ingrained in a person. And while an accumulation of experiences and analysis of them is equivalent to growing up, there is a base amount of grown up everyone has, and a learning rate or slope of growing up that is unique to each person as well. Some people start under water and reach sea level, which is growth, but not enough. There are some who begin at sea level and reach Mars and that's really cool. Others are living at a constant height of the Eiffel Tower.
And the thing is, that everyone's opinion counts. Every-one counts.
I don't care how old you are, what you have achieved, or who you are related to. It is okay if you are living on the street or behind bars. But everyone is human, and treating everyone equally is important.
The best professors are the ones who are always encouraging. They don't see whether you are brilliant with an understanding of the subject already, or whether you know nothing. All they look at is your willingness to work. They are humble, and down to earth, answering questions with politeness and supportiveness that is unbeatable.
And that is because they care.
They accept that whoever the person is, that person could have something important to say.
That person could contribute.
What that person says, at the end of the day, is something they openly consider.
And then it doesn't matter if you are a professional in a field interacting with a newcomer, or whether you are talking to a child who supports beliefs that clash with yours. You need to listen. If you don't agree, discuss it. If you still don't agree, try again. And after the discussion, agree to disagree, because to be able to respect conflicting views is something we all need to learn.
Many children feel older people are not actively listening to them, or taking into consideration what they are saying. I kept feeling bitter about how I was never understood at home about certain things. They'd tell me I was too young and hadn't seen enough of the world to know better. I'd start feeling guilty about having different beliefs. The guilt stressed me out.
But when finally, my mom and I sat down and spoke about everything as openly as possible with the intent to understand each other and not to defend our own beliefs, it became evident to both of us that the other person strongly thought a certain way.
We tried to explain our points of view to each other, and to an extent, agreed. But the core belief is still different. That discussion though, was a turning point. There was finally no guilt. And I knew my mom was listening.
Just knowing she was listening, just knowing that she could look beyond my age and hear me out as she would have listened with an open mind to anyone else made me feel so much better about myself.
So don't think your opinion doesn't matter. Because it does....even if it is the most stupid thing in the world.
As long as you are willing to be corrected, admit to your misunderstandings, and listen.
