Book 1: " And yet, It goes around" [FMA One Shots]

Nitrogen

November 2, Resembool

Sometimes, your early days can seem something so far away from you, than it feels like those memories are from somebody else's life. In my case, my childhood is quite a mystery: it's at the same time the time I most long to return, and the time I desperately try to forget.

- Mom! Why can't Dad play with us? - Al asked 

- Oh my dear! Your father is a really busy man, because he's a very talented alchemist! Instead, can I play with you two boys?

When it came to dad, Mom always avoided talking about the matter. Actually, we barely saw him since he was always locked in his laboratory which we couldn't enter. When we actually saw him, he seemed afraid of touching us.

- Father, can you come play with me and Ed, please? It's going to be fun!- Al smiled hopefully back at him, but all he gave him was a cold and sad "no, I can't" 

-Come on boys, don't bother your father! My little mans have to sleep... it's bed time!

- OH! ALREADY MOM!? We cried together as Mom smiled at us leading us thought the corridor, and we followed her with sleepy faces. 

Before I got to my and Al's room I dared looking behind: I saw that our father left this laboratory's door with a open gap. The room was full of a beautiful blue bright lights which fulfilled my curiosity " I gonna take a look at that"

- Ei Al, wanna hear something? I have a super nice idea!

- Ohh no Ed, I know that look brother... whatever you're thinking... it's no good! That's the "terrible and dangerous idea" look!

- Oh real Al! I just have the most boring brother ever! This time it's gonna work, I am sure, trust me Alphonse!

- Oh my god, well... so that is after all?

- It's a top secret exploration mission to see what's inside father's laboratory!

- But mom always says it's forbidden to go there without permission! Well... I guess you're doing it anyway right brother?- I smiled brightly at Al which showed him my response. Al already knew me, so he followed me like always. 

We snicked out and went thought the hall slowly and carefully so no one could hear us. I opened the door silently, I little afraid of that was in the other side. Suddenly, everything was revealed to us.

- OAHU! SO COOOL! AMAZING!

Every wall has covered with beautiful ancient draws of transmutations circles and codified symbols from long ago. We couldn't see the desk since it was covered with many papers and books all over it. Instruments for science experiences were just near a organized box with many substances and minerals by alphabetic order, witch caught our attention.

- See Ed, I told you! Our father is great... just look at all this stuff! Mom is right! He is really an alchemy genius... how cool is that!

- Dad sure as some really nice science materials here, but... why doesn't he show us this? It's because he doesn't care about us, Al!

- You're wrong Ed! He thinks it's dangerous for us to play with this, that's why he hides it!

"I'm not so sure about that Al..." I thought to myself as I bumped into a pile of paper archives without meaning to. I gasped loudly as I heard the noisy sound of everything falling abruptly in the ground.

- AHAH DAMN IT THIS STUPID SCIENCE TRASH!

- BROTHER! keep quiet! They're going to hear us! 

- OUR MORON FATHER CAN'T EVEN KEEP A LITTLE ROOM ORGANIZED, JEEZ!

- Ed calm down! Come see this!- I looked exactly where Al was pointing at. By dropping all those archives paper I could found hidden between a unfinished swing made of wood and two little metal blue donkeys which were transmuted recently. 

- See Ed! Father does care about us... you were wrong! He made this for us... how nice!- Al was really happy and he started right away playing with the little toy while I hold it with my bare sad hands, letting tears wash it. 

"He really loves us and I misjudge him...but still... I have a bad feeling about this" I thought to myself as I came to realized how much I loved him besides everything, besides every distance between us.

- Are you ok brother?

- Yes, I'm fine Alphonse- I whipped out my tears- Let's take these with us...after all they're fine alchemy handcraft, right? - Al smiled and gave me a big hug

- Ok, jeez you baby let go of me! Come on... let's return to our room Al!

That night, I slept with the only material prove of love I had from my father behind my pillow like it was the most precious thing in the universe. 

Suddenly, I felt a warm painful feeling that made me cry and smile at the same time "Now, I realize father... whatever you do I'll always love you" Right on the other side of the door, Van Hohenheim was crying at the sound of the hanged swing which was on the tree near our house.

All this time, I was foolish and arrogant enough to bealive my father hadn't told me anything. It seemed like it, since he left to never return, leaving us on our own. In my heart I couldn't find a place to forgive him, to understand his reasons. 

"How could he love us, if he left?"  I toughed without realizing how blind I was. He told exactly the most important thing in life: Grief it's a passage, not a place to stay. It's not a sign of weakness... It's the price of love.

Edward Elric, Love metal donkeys

Note: Nitrogen is the most abundant element in the air and it takes part in the most important cycle for every being by returning to the humus the proteins of once living bodys in composition. It's a stable component, resisting  to chemical changes in many situations witch gives it many applications.