Waiting for the Sunrise

chapter two

Rebecca Birch's Point of View:

Will came into my room, I was in the process of picking a shirt to wear for when the Matteson's arrived.

"Smells good in here. Forgot how good of a cook your mom is."

"What happens when you're a chef, Will." He rolled his eyes at me and collapsed onto my bed.

"How you feeling?" He had left my house for a few hours to shower and be with his family.

"Fine. Weird that my moms sober and normal." He nodded and looked around, noticing the vodka bottle laying on my bed.

"Becca." He said slowly.

"Don't." The doorbell rang downstairs. They were here. Will looked at me, daring me to take another sip. I ignored him, walking past him and into the hallway as I pulled a black long sleeve shirt over my head and tucked it into my jeans.

"You look good." Will said as he followed me. I again, ignored him.

"Don't mention... anything. Okay? My mom's been too drunk to notice and I don't need anyone's sympathy okay?" He nodded, realizing that I wasn't in the mood for attention. Not that I ever had been recently. The Matteson's were my parents best friends my whole life. They had one son, Jake who was the same age as me. We had been inseparable from birth until they moved away when we were 13. I hadn't seen them since, didn't really think about him at all anymore.

"Rebecca! Oh my goodness, you are beautiful!" Mrs. Matteson said. I smiled bright, looking at her and her husband. She gave me a hug. Jake smiled at me.

"Hey Becca." I continued to smile and gave him a hug also. Mr. Matteson patted me on the shoulder.

"This is Rebecca's boyfriend, Will." My mom gushed. "He's quarterback of the football team." Mrs. Matteson smiled wide as Will shook her husband and son's hand.

We ate dinner making group small talk, only touching the surface of my family's problems. We talked about college, my mom delighted that Will would be joining me at SU. While Jake told us he hadn't decided yet. My mom suggested us "young people" go out to the back porch. Will, Jake, and I followed her idea and went outside.

"So how've you really been?" Jake asked, smiling at me as we all sat in separate chairs on the porch. I shrugged.

"Fine." Will let out a breathy scoff at my answer, Jake glanced at him as he sat back.

"Your mom seems different. You do too."

"Well it's been awhile. And obviously some shit has happened." He nodded, realizing he wasn't going to get much out of me. He moved on to talking to Will.

"So you still play lacrosse?" Will smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, it's football season right now though. We're doing really well..." That was when I stopped listening. I didn't mean to, I just didn't feel like listening. I didn't want to pretend to be okay with these people I don't know anymore. Nothing was the same as when Jake was here, when everything was easy and perfect. When everybody was alive and my family was perfect. When I hadn't killed anyone, when nothing was my fault, when-

"Beck? You wanna come?" I snapped out of it and looked up.

"What?" Will shook his head.

"We're gonna go play catch. Wanna come?" I shook my head, no. He looked disappointed, but not necessarily surprised.

"Okay. We'll be back in a bit. Sticks still in the garage?" I nodded, pulling my phone out of my pocket. I hadn't checked it all day, not that anyone texted me. But I knew Will was right. I had been thinking all day about what he'd said last night. The memory wasn't really a good one, but it was meaningful. I dialed the home phone number Dr. Lord had given me if I "ever need to talk." Deep down I knew that I needed to talk now more than ever. He picked up the phone after the second ring.