Texas

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One must acknowledge a supreme being before being able to hold public office.

The Bluebonnet is the official song of the state flower.

It is illegal to sell one’s eye

A program has been created in the state that attempts to control the weather.

It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.

It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.

A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

Homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense.

The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.

It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.

Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos.

Abilene

It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing.

Austin

Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket.

Beaumont

Collegiate football is banned at Lamar University.

Borger

It is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or quirts (riding crop), and explosive firecrackers of any kind.

Clarendon

It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster.

Dallas

It’s illegal to possess realistic dildos.

El Paso

Urinating on the streets is illegal.

Appearing in public places wearing a “lewd dress” is prohibited.

Churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide spittoons “of a kind and number to efficiently contain expectorations into them.

Galveston

It is illegal to drive a motor car down Broadway before noon on Sundays.

�Offensive gestures� will not be tolerated at any special event.

Bicycles must be operated at a “reasonable speed”.

One needs permission from the director of parks and recreation before getting drunk in any city park.

No person shall throw trash from an airplane.

Landing an airplane on the beach is illegal.

No person shall inhale fumes from model glue.

Any person who sits on a sidewalk may be fined up to $500.

Harker Heights

No person may disturb a church service by swearing.

Drivers of city vehicles must respect all traffic rules just like the rest of us.

Houston

It is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.

Beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but it may be purchased on Monday.

Jasper

Dogs must be on a leash at ALL times.

LeFors

It is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer while standing.

Lubbock County

It is illegal to drive within an arm’s length of alcohol – including alcohol in someone else’s blood stream.

Mesquite

It is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.

Port Arthur

Obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator.

Richardson

It is illegal to do “U Turns”.

It is now illegal to place a “for sale” sign on a car if it visible from the street.

San Antonio

It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo.

It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.

Temple

Cattle thieves may be hanged on the spot.

You can ride your horse in the saloon.

No one may ride a horse and buggy through the town square.

Texarkana

Owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights.

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